To: ggerloff@aol.com
From: mike471@excite.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net, allenconsignments@comcast.net
Date: Sun, 24 Jul 2005 19:37:13 -0400 (EDT)

gerard:

Things have quieted down here on the ocean since y’all left. The neighbors did drop by to thank us, on behalf of the entire Surf City, Topsail and North Topsail beaches, for seeing to it that the three of you were packed off to whereever you went. They didn’t care much where that was, but seemed mightily, if warily (one woman with a nervous tic kept looking over her shoulder at her nine-year old daughter) relieved at your absence.

It got so boring last night that I moseyed down to the newly established bar in town, The Headless Seagull Lounge and Grrrill. It was quite the scene. A roundfaced girl from Rome, Georgia, wearing white rubber shrimping boots and wielding a 12 inch fillet knife and a sharpening stone; an illiterate Topsail native girl with a t-shirt that said only TCSC; and a sheepish young African American girl who was obviously having trouble keeping her pants up, and loving every minute of it.

Anyway, the newest (and even for my tastes, bizarre) social scene down her takes place at The Headless Seagull. It’s called The Carolina Spanking Club, and these three comely lasses are leading the pack. I can’t get into what it involves here, but it is verrrrrry interesting.

The nut of the whole thing basically, and this was repeated to me by all three of the ringleaders in separate conversations, is that they’re waiting for The Great Messiah (last seen in Sandbridge in 1969 by an attorney known only as “Ace”, drunk and under the steps of a cottage rented by the brownie mistress of the universe), a rotund, bespectabled man with a large satchel of interesting items, known to some as a musician, to others as a god, and to still others as a grey head with designs for a master race. He is said to be returning here sometime in mid-August, and these three have set up The Headless Seagull and The Carolina Spanking Club in breathless anticipation of his return.

It’s kind of pagan, really, but interesting.

Anyway, if you know anyone who fills this bill, the Headless Seagull is out at the end of the pier. The place is illuminated with black lights, there’s a smell of fish in the air, and the thongs are amusing, but…oh hell, you’ll find out soon enough.

Your pal,

Stingo the cured

At 02:46 PM 7/29/2005, you wrote:

Gentlemen:

Last night I was finishing up the last glass of chianti out on the deck here at Topsail, minding my own, and musing over the RR/KoMZ blog (Should it be in the format of a newspaper? Should it be a newsline? A gossip sheet? etc. et al) while simultaneously wondering over the numerical significance of the seven shots from The Frenzy, a Cherry Bomb Product, and the seven members voted into The Order on July 18-19, and whether I can in fact make a living out of writing as others have, when I picked up my glass for the final sip, and:

A grasshopper the size of a small bird slid out of the glass and into my mouth.

It was drunk, and purple. Its long, sickle-like mandibles, normally used to seize prey, grabbed my tonsils in a vicious, vise-like attempt to wrestle me into submission. Its shorter, inward-pointing basal tooth of the mandible, often used to help crush and tear captured prey, was probing into my sinus cavity. Its antennae were slinking into my esophogus and slithering through the space between my teeth.

“AIEEEEEE” I choked out in a modest assessment, and seized the brute by its hind legs, now screeching mightily, and half spit, half tore it back into the glass.

I took it into the kitchen and dumped the rude beast onto the cutting board.

“Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” screamed Lucy.

“Kill it! Kill it! You’re the Dad! Kill it!” she implored me.

The thing, now wobbling in a trail of red wine across the counter, was not panicked by any stretch of the imagination. It ambled sideways, scrabbled like a crab, really, until it hung upside down from the counter top.

Then it scuttled into a dark hole under the cabinets.

I went back on the porch and trembled in fear and wonder for 10 minutes, pondering over what in the bloody hell this could possibly mean.

Has the Good Father in Heaven taken offense at our activities here? Is this the Revenge Which is His? Is it An Omen of worse trials and tribulations to come?

No. It is not, I decided.

Earlier, over dinner, I had rhythmically sung the praises of HST to Lucy. He was a poet and a prophet, I had said. The drugs and alcohol were punctuation marks, I said. This was a writer who people followed because, like Fitzgerald and Hemingway and Faulkner, he could get to the truth in a brilliant and entertaining way. HST was a genius, I said. I had immersed myself since February in reading everything this man had written, and felt I knew him as well as anyone, and I could, in fact, assess this man to my daughter as a bona fide genius.

After that, I ambled out to the deck with my half glass of chianti, and, well now you know the rest.

This drunken purple grasshopper was, I am now certain, a token symbol from HST himself, given to me in appreciation of our having honored him with posthumous membership in the RRI/KMZ; also, a sign of appreciation for extolling his virtues to the next generation; and, finally, the green light at the end of the dock, the orgiastic future that Gatsby believed in, Old Sport, that it’s a go for the writing gig.

How do I know this? Because the now sober and bright green son of a bitch is peering down from the kitchen ceiling at me as I write this 12 hours from our original encounter. He’s peaceful, and silent.

“Did you know there’s a grasshopper on the ceiling?” my wife asked me his morning.

“Yeah. He’s a friend of mine,” I said.

Date: Fri, 29 Jul 2005 16:40:40 -0400
To: mike471@excite.com
From: Joe Spivey
Subject: Re: A Benediction from Above

My advice, do what you want to do and you’ll never work again so says the grasshopper. You deserve to have the same feeling I have when I cross the threshold of my classroom and the way G feels when he steps on stage. There is nothing in the world is more gratifying. Are ya’ll going to stop by on your transit to R.M.? I hope you will. I’d love to show you
around my incredible environment.

Bcc: Ann.M.Welton@mail.sprint.com
To:ggerloff@aol.com,joes@cstone.net,allenconsignments@comcast.net
Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2005 17:15:48 -0400
Subject: the toast from joe

To Mr. Gerloff:

For his generous philanthropy,
for letting us ride on his charisma,
and for his gregarious communications.

To Mr. Earl:

For his austere and sage accounts,
his technical prowess,
and the twinkle in his eyes since he was 14,
which is still there.

To Michael:

For being a talking and walking Virginia gentleman,
for trying to make order out of chaos,
and for understanding triangulation.

Most thanks of all to the Queen Bee,
for taking being a Virginia lady
from a pleasantry to a treasure.

Thank you and salud!

From: mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com, joes@cstone.net, bridgallen@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Whoops: there goes the neighborhood
Date: 8/9/2005

Topsail: island of hurricanes, pirates, rockets and slowwww

RAY MCALLISTER
POINT OF VIEW

Aug 9, 2005

Ray McAllister
Ray’s column appears Tues., Thurs. and Sat. Contact him at (804)649-6333;
fax (804)775-8059; or email rmcallister @timesdispatch.com

TOPSAIL ISLAND, N.C.

The temperatures are up here, but the breezes usually are, too, so that
scarcely seems to matter.

In fact, the breezes seem to move faster than the cars.

But then, what doesn’t?

Down here on Topsail, I always seemed to be behind an especially serene driver. The main road on this thin strip of land never carries more than a 45-mile-an-hour speed limit. Invariably I was behind someone going 10 miles under.

Who goes 10 miles under?

The better question, as last week’s vacation proved, is who doesn’t?

Topsail is so laid back its natives seem barely able to summon the energy to pronounce the name. It comes out, the way it has for centuries, clipped, as “TOP-sul”.

A week in a place like this is perfect for vacation.

Our daughter, Lindsay, arranged it after she and her husband, Micah, had visited Topsail. It was close enough to my parents’ home so that all of us could visit, including our other two children and a friend, as well as Lindsay and Micah’s infant daughter. My father, our son Ryan and I even got to play golf.

Topsail is one of North Carolina’s numerous barrier islands, far south of the more famous Outer Banks. Its history includes pirates, hurricanes, a never-found Spanish gold treasure, and a Navy rocket-testing program.

The island is only 26 miles long — its main road a few less — and only 500 to 1,500 feet wide. It includes North Topsail, Surf City and Topsail Beach.

If you’re thinking Virginia Beach or Nags Head, forget it. Only Surf City seems even slightly commercial. North Topsail is positively hostile towardany business other than real estate.

Though, believe me, they’re fine with real estate.

What’s left are beautiful beaches, moderate crowds, an almost tropical feel in early August, and a slowing of life.

If you’re not hearing Jimmy Buffett music, you’re not trying.

Vicki walked several miles on the beach at sunrise each morning. Too lazy for that, I ran later on the road, scoping out a vegetable stand.

By the way: Get the Golden Beauty melon. It’s a local hybrid of cantaloupe and honeydew. Better than either.

Virtually everything in Topsail is built on stilts and has been since Hurricane Hazel hit in 1954. Years ago, we visited North Topsail to see the wreckage left by the other big hitter, 1996’s Hurricane Fran. Stilts had been of little help then: Nothing much remained except sand and asphalt roads.

Our own experience last week was not so dramatic. The weather was perfect.

Our daughter Jamie did have her toe grabbed and punctured, apparently by a crab, causing boyfriend Paul to rush her from the ocean.

Otherwise, every day was a day at the beach. Our only urgency lay in making sure one-year-old Riley didn’t just wander into the surf. We bought T-shirts, salt-water taffy and fudge, coffee mugs from our breakfast spot and even pirate memorabilia.

By late in the week, slow cars no longer bothered me.

Like all barrier islands, Topsail moves to its own rhythms. Literally.

“Echoes of Topsail,” a book by David A. Stallman that I picked up, says the island’s been slowly migrating to the south during the past century. But it had moved 4 miles to the north between 1775 and 1865.

I think that’s faster than most cars on the island.

In other words, by Saturday, as the clock was ticking on our final day, I found my impatience returning. The rest of the group had already reached our breakfast spot and here I was, caught behind some slow-moving idiot. . . .

You know, another week would have been just perfect.

To: mike471@excite.com
From: Joe Spivey
Subject: Re: Whoops: there goes the neighborhood.

Oh well, next stop, Abacos……….Too difficult to get to for any major
commercialization, I hope……….

At 11:56 AM 8/9/2005, you wrote:

Yep. It’s nice.

I put it in the lead paragraph of the story i did on working sail for Richmond magazine, years ago.

It’s a British territory? Can you own property there? What’s the deal?

What do you have in mind for it? Are there financial opportunities?

jmw

To:mike471@excite.com
From: Joe Spivey
Subject: Re: August 20 launch

It is independent now. Capital in Nassau, a pit of a place. You
can not own property there, but you can be an owner in a real estate partnership which is most likely how it will work. I am currently working with my tax attorney on the legalities so as to afford the largest U. S. income tax advantages and most secure ownership. The only taxes in the Bahamas is a 1/3 duty on imports which can be circumvented in a number of
ways.

I want to buy at least 10 acres and cut it up into 9 lots and one common. Each lot will have two houses, a small conch cottage on the beach and a larger house, 2-3 bedrooms, on the hill above the beach to access the trade winds. I will manage/rent the parcels and reside on site. Boats are a
must as they are the only transportation so a fleet is a part of the package. The sell is now, before I purchase the 10, I believe the numbers will come down at about $50,000 for an acre.

Cc: Ann.M.Welton@mail.sprint.com
To:ggerloff@aol.com,joes@cstone.net,allenconsignments@comcast.net
Date: Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:22:24 -0400
Subject: At Gary’s urging, I’ve put pen to paper:

The American Dream, Age 229, Slips Quietly Away

The real meaning of $3-a-gallon gasoline, obscenely overpriced real estate and unending overseas wars is the death of the American Dream at age 229.

That’s right: it’s gone for good this time.

It was born in 1776 on a genteel hilltop above Charlottesville, Virginia, corrupted mightily in the 19th century by robber barons, spiffed up in 1920 for a squeaky-clean delivery to the hungry masses, and then brutally pushed aside by hostile forces in 2005.

F. Scott Fitzgerald once lanced it, though the wound was not fatal, and Hunter S. Thompson prematurely staked out its deathwatch in the 1960’s. It might be noted that Mr. Fitzgerald drank himself to death in 1944, while Mr. Thompson committed a very public suicide in February of this year.

From humble beginnings, it inspired countless generations of entrepreneurs who were enlightened by its seemingly endless well of faith, trust and hope.

Under its tutelage horses gave way to trains, which then yielded to automobiles and later, to an omnipotent air superiority. Swords were beaten into plowshares, which were then pounded into air-conditioned tractors for a rapidly growing agribusiness industry. Quills became Montblancs, typewriters transformed to Apples.

Grievously stricken in the 1960s by the murders of two Kennedys and a King, it worked hand in glove with the SNCC and the NCAAP to banish Jim Crow permanently from our shores.

It was widely known as the father of the military/industrial complex and the progenitor of Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. In 1974 it ushered in an era of national self-empowerment after long, frequent and devious bouts of abuse by Richard Nixon.

It spawned the war to end all wars, delivered Europe and Asia from fascism, brought down the Berlin Wall, and naively and fatally attempted to find peace in the Middle East.

Once the envy of the entire world, it spent its last few hours languishing over fond, if bittersweet, memories with its newest batch of children, born of hope in the mid-1980s, but now living (once again) in its modest, if vastly inflated, home.

Looking back, it reflected warmly on its halcyon days of cheap Texas oil, of spacious middle-class houses for half the price of a modern SUV, and of precious little peace.

Its children, educated in well-respected Ivy-league and private schools along the eastern seaboard, wondered aloud about what to do without their Dream, but with their very expensive degrees in philosophy and sociology. They pondered careers in The Law.

As a last gasp, it boarded a fractionally-owned Gulfstream V for one final coast-to-coast flight over what it had wrought. While cruising Kansas at 50,000 feet, it looked down on all the flourishing kingdoms and all the lives it had touched. It stayed up there longer than most of us might have, and then remembering all that it had seen, settled slowly back to earth.

“Unmitigated gall,” it cried at last to the children, “Is divided into three parts: greed, stupidity and cruelty.” And then it was gone.

It is survived by AWACS and the global positioning satellite system, a home in East Hampton listed at $40 million, Vice President Dick Cheney, and the mujadeens.

Memorial contributions may be sent to the Department of Defense, Washington, D.C.

We are fortunate to be able to post here three links to Mr. Gerloff’s dual performances and single interview broadcast on WCVE’s “Virginia Currents” in Richmond on January 8, 2009.

The first tune is a duet with Dave Shiflett, known to Gary as “Taliban Dave.” It’s a striking rendition of “Alabama Jubilee.”

The second video is an interview with Gary by May-Lily Lee, where the lad touches on some of the areas — the multitude of monikers, the healing power of music, the meaning of two lives — discussed in his in-depth interview on this site a few years back.

The third is a chilling blues rendition of “Walking Boss,” once again with “Taliban Dave” backing up the man that many of us called “The Big G.”

The video links, then:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZCnQYhwE7o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrDWFSGSmpQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3Zcdh1jONM

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Fri, 20 May 2005 11:52:41 EDT
Subject: For it’s Root, Root, Root for the Home team
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear M.Welton
You make the call as to where you’d like to meet, as you have the schedule open from 5:00 to 5:30. I drove by the Track the other day and thought of you. Lyles has opened a restaurant in Deltaville someone told me the other day. Any way …. RFK was fun yesterday, with the Washington Nationals winning 3-2. I ate the one Italian sausage, drank the two bottle waters, and downed the sole Harp Lager. It was a little humid, with plenty of “suits” (lobbyist types) and metro DC riff raff to amuse just about any taste. The purchases from the MLB on site store, were confined to one 7&1/2 Nationals “road hat” ( dark blue), one Don Russ player pack of Washington Nationals “stars” baseball cards, and one single starter pack of MLB cards for my little bitty Boy. Return trip home featured a vodka fueled, debate between Steve “Mechanicsville Slim” Gerloff, and Bobby “Gary’s Ed McMann” Farley. High points during the debate included Steve Gerloff repeatedly referring to Young Farley as a “State-Employed Socialist,” and Farley ’s retort of Slim ,”wrapping himself in the Flag of Victimhood!” All this being egged on by by pointed questions raised by Aldophis Highball Jr. (aka Weldon Neal). My only contribution consisted of, “What are you going to do about the gays that want to get married?” No concrete answer ever emerged. Eventually, the Vodka ran out, and Fred Gerloff told me, “If that’s what you want to talk about, then get out!” Two CPA’s on the bus asked me if I worked for the Napier Realty Organization. I replied, I didn’t know any Napiers, but was there to collect a Gambling Debt, from a fella named Rocco, or Ricky. I didn’t really know which name was right, but the party in question had welshed on a Football card from last season. One of the two had a name plate that read “Richard Something”. He insisted that it could not possibly be him, as he was a CPA with a 2 year old little girl. I pointed out Steve Gerloff walking down the aisle in an unsteady gait, asked if they wanted to learn a card game called “Lucky Seven?” The sight of an ungainly 6 ft - 4inch, red faced, balding, sunglassed galoot was just too much for these two. There may have been more to this story, but I grow weary as I type. As referred in a later email, Mindy in a put-upon “huff,” retrieved this lost email for me and mocked me for my inability to learn how to do anything on the computer. OK. All and all, a good time was had by all. See you hopefully, on Saturday.

I have moved to the foot of the Cross,

ggerloff

mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 23 May 2005 17:11:37 -0400
Subject: The Plan and The Score

Gary:

A nice time, and quite the philosophical soiree on Saturday evening, I must say. We must do this again.

To recap, then: you’re bringing the standing rib roast, correct? And Mr. Earl? I’ll get the cannon, the barbecue, the sausages, the kale and the seafood? Also, I’ll email the spivey joe and see what’s up with him.

Maybe the rjones and sjhaha sagas are short stories, not novels. Little emotion-packed 1500-word pieces. Dunno.

But I was thinking this morning about our conversation: that if there is a novel in all that stuff, and not just a series of screwball anecdotal comic & tragic cosmic goofs, then maybe the theme concerns the Randomness of the Life of The American Dream.

Wrap it around the umbrella concept of:

Unmitigated Gall, Divided into Three Parts:
Greed, Stupidity and Cruelty.

Stake out as my beat the life, not the death (as Thompson did) of said Dream.

Now, on to bidness:

1. Cleland was delighted to hear of the hwood contract. He’s got your handbill on his door, after all.

2. Today, on client business, I scored Jay Leno’s publicist’s, publicist assistant’s, and personal assistant’s (Helga!) emails and phone numbers. I now have direct access, sir, to the Tonight Show, for what that’s worth in the whole scheme of things…

Drop me a line when you come down off that high.

Workin’ in the coal mine, I remain,

Stingo the diligent

Date: Mon, 23 May 2005 17:52:02 -0400
To: mike471@excite.com
From: Joe Spivey
Subject: Re: Topsail

I am indeed honored by your invitation. I most certainly will attend said conference and here-to-fore offer my services as the designated driver for all, as I have foregone all inebreating beverages for a number of years. What can I bring that may be of value?

At 05:29 PM 5/23/2005, you wrote:

Joe:

Dates for the RRI/KoMZ philosophical and literary debating conference are shaping up (per gg and aba jr., already confirmed as attending) to be Sunday, July 17 through Wednesday, July 20.

HST’s birthday, as you know, is Monday, July 18. If you’re going to be able to make it, I will purchase four sizeable cannon at Nervous Charlie’s beer, gas and fireworks emporium in Tennessee, so that we can mark the occasion properly.

I strongly urge you to mark your calendar and come to The Beach. We will enjoy your company tremendously.

There will be no teenagers (unless, of course, Gary brings his lavish Korean entourage of just-one-day-over-eighteen female groupies); just the four of us and the lovely Ann Welton, also known as The Fashion Idol of Millions, when not playing her well-established role of The Mom.

Let me know. I will send directions and a letter of introduction, so that you can get safely past the heightened security without incident.

jmw

From: mike471@excite.com
Cc: ggerloff@aol.com,allenconsignments@comcast.net
To: joes@cstone.net
Date: Fri, 17 Jun 2005 09:41:36 -0400
Subject: Re: July 17-20, 2005 at Topsail Island

Joe:

I figure it’s the least we can do, considering the hospitality that you, Gary and Bridg have extended to us over the past 30 or so years, starting with that benchmark keg party on Henri Road the night before Camptown Races back in ‘68.

It should be a nice, laid-back time. No pressure of any kind, save what to read, what to listen to and what to eat. We’ll keep time by the position of the sun; that makes the days go by remarkably quickly. We’ve got a couple of umbrellas on order, and some chairs, so it’ll be comfortable. I think I have an old email to Gary that I can forward to you, regarding the annual convening of the Lee-Jackson Literary Society, North Carolina chapter, just so you know the drill.

I can cook, and certainly Bridg and Gary can cook, so that takes some of the drudgery off Ann, who, by the way will appreciate compliments on her weight loss and new attempt at a pony tail. She likes all y’all, so we just need to be sure she doesn’t end up waiting on us, to keep things on an even keel.

Cleland and Lucy won’t be down ’til the next weekend; no other visitors while y’all are there, so that’s nice.

I don’t expect H. Tate to turn up, but thought it was important to include him.

The beach itself down there is gorgeous; not as rough as Hatteras, but the Gulf Stream slips right by us. The community is a lot like Nags Head was back in the late 60’s and early ’70s: residential, not much commercial development, and decidedly Southern.

We’ll just hunker down and enjoy ourselves.

jmw

From: mike471@excite.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 22 Jun 2005 10:23:12 -0400
Subject: You take what you need and leave the rest, but …

woof.

yeah.

Alright, then: aircraft for colorado springs leaps toward the stars tomorrow at 4 pm and i’m on it, through chicago.

drive to walsenburg, town of the massive full moon at 8,000 ft, to spend the night in a funky and inexpensive ho-tel.

then on to Antonito, armpit of southeastern colorado, near where the conejos and the los pinos join forces to form the san juan, the massive river of trophy giant trout caught in the tailwaters of the big dam.

But the los pinos, in the Carson national forest, is home base at 9,000 ft, in a small and relatively insignificant valley cut into the dry desert mountains, from whence one can strike out for the san antonio stream (tiny little snake-like river at 10,000 ft., chock full of native cutthroat) if the los pinos is too high, or for the fast, deep and dangerous conejos (home of the gold medal trout), if it’s too low. If it’s just right, one can stride easily a step or two from camp into the reliable los pinos in search of the ever-present stocker rainbows or the stealthy big browns who hide under the cut banks and specialize in bullnosing to the bottom. All are snared on the black and white “house and lot” no. 14 or 16, so named by the man who tied “dozens of hundreds” of them to pay his mortgage fifty years ago. He is long since gone, but the legacy of his dry flies lives on.

Drink good kentucky whiskey around the campfire. Eat well. talk some. take the Dixie point of view on most everything, because if you don’t, no one else will. Dodge and challenge the political correctness of the boys from san bernadino. Take the June 30, 1863 plastic-mounted original copy of The New York Times which strikingly displays the fear and paranoia racing through the minds of the editorial desk as Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia marches steadily and voraciously northward toward Harrisburg and (gasp! gulp! oh no! whatever shall we do?) Manhattan?!? Advise those in camp that, as Faulkner said, to every true southerner, it is always high noon on July 3, 1863, when, fresh from a stunning victory at Chancellorsville, the South and Lee’s Confederacy were still invinceable, still striking fear wherever they strode, and (o, lost!) Pickett’s charge was yet to be.

Muse over 15 years in this fish camp and the old men who can no longer make it out, save 80-year-old mel, who’s taking his last trek westward this time. Or doc mathew, who once amused cleland with a story of the west virginia boy who cut his feet off when someone put shoes on them, so unfamiliar with the concept was he. And how that became part of an essay that got the boy into Princeton…

Think about two weeks at the beach. Pooch Hollywood. Spiveyjoehaha and the lightnin, who spurned the mighty carapico.

Hey: do you know how to hook up a dvd player? We’ll need some of that expertise at topsail.

Wistfully yours,

stingo the rebel.

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 22 Jun 2005 15:37:12 EDT
Subject: Blind Willie McTell played the Blues, I’m here to tell ya
To: mike471@excite.com

Good, well written piece. Nothing to be said further. Good stuff. Top Sail awaits. ABA will be assigned DVD duty. Joe is the “father of the Bride.” I remain like a “house on fire/you are repelled, yet you cannot turn away.” Go give’m hell. Buy the new Ry Cooder, Chavis Ravine … with the cover of the Cool Drink of Water version of “3 Cool Cats”.

Sincerely,
Ggerloff

PS: I saw that email to Joe, and mentioning your wife’s “weight loss”..that girl is lean as a lizard, and trim as a wick. Go buy her a doughnut for the love of Pete.

From: mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com,joes@cstone.net,allenconsignments@comcast.net
Date: Tue, 28 Jun 2005 17:02:46 -0400
Subject: Another Southern Giant Drops in 2005

Civil War historian, storyteller Shelby Foote dies
Memphis resident featured in Ken Burns documentary

By JIM AUCHMUTEY
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 06/28/05

The Civil War, Shelby Foote used to say, was our “Iliad” — a well of tragedy, triumph and meaning as deep to Americans as the Trojan War was to ancient Greeks. In that case, we’ve lost a modern-day Homer.

The writer died Monday night at his home in Memphis, his widow, Gwyn, said Tuesday. He was 88.

Foote was a consummate Southern storyteller best known for his epic, three-volume history, “The Civil War: A Narrative,” and his folksy commentary on Ken Burns’ celebrated 1990 PBS documentary about the war.

Though he was born more than 50 years after Appomattox, Foote seemed somehow to have been there when Fort Sumter fell, when Pickett charged, when Lincoln slumped in his rocker at Ford’s Theater. Long years of research and writerly craft made him a living link to the terrible conflict he called “the crossroad of our being.”

Foote’s career was a wry commentary on fame. A promising young novelist in the early 1950s, he turned his back on it all for a lingering conversation with the past. It took him 20 years to complete his opus; it took TV 11 hours to make him a folk hero.

Burns knew he had bagged a treasure after he concluded two days of interviews with Foote. “Getting Shelby,” he said, “was almost like getting Bobby Lee himself.”

Foote was the star of the show. He appeared 89 times, looking like Lee and sounding like sippin’ whiskey as he spun his yarns of courage and character. For the 14 million viewers who watched the series, he became the face of the South.

In a typical vignette, he told about a rabbit that popped up in a field during Pickett’s Charge at Gettysburg and bounded through the Confederate carnage toward the rear. A Rebel glimpsed it, the writer related with a little chuckle, and called out: “Run, old hare! If I was an old hare I’d run, too.”

Foote’s limitless arsenal of anecdotes came from years spent with the eyewitness accounts of soldiers and civilians long dead but for words and ghostly images. His book jacket photos suggest the marathon nature of the undertaking.

In the first volume (1958), Foote appears as dark-haired and slick-faced as a drummer boy. By the second installment (1963), he wears a gray-flecked beard and the confident smirk of a dashing cavalry officer. By the final volume (1974), the whiskers have gone silver, the eyes sorrowful, and the writer, pushing 60, has the grave countenance of a general who has seen too much.

Like most Southerners of his time, Shelby Dade Foote grew up in the war’s shadow. Born in the Mississippi Delta town of Greenville, he came from a long line of Southern aristocrats, some of whom had fought the Yankees. They chilled Shelby with their tales.

An only child whose father died when he was 6, he read voraciously and decided early on to become a writer. His closest friend was Walker Percy, the future novelist.

After a couple of years at the University of North Carolina, Foote dropped out and tried his hand at fiction. He had pretty much finished a novel when World War II intervened and he went to Europe with the Army as an artillery officer. His service abruptly ended when he was court-martialed for visiting his girlfriend in Ireland without permission.

Back home in Greenville, Foote began writing in earnest. Starting in 1949, he published five novels in six years, all set in Mississippi: “Tournament” about a Delta planter who gambles away the family fortune (as his grandfather actually did); “Follow Me Down,” the story of a farmer who kills his teenaged lover; “Love in a Dry Season,” about life in a Delta town; “Shiloh,” based on the bloody Civil War battle; and “Jordan County,” another study of Delta life.

Although none of the novels were best-sellers, all were well reviewed, and Foote was building a reputation as “the young Faulkner,” in the words of one critic.

Then came his calling.

Bennett Cerf, the Random House editor, admired “Shiloh” and in 1953 asked its author whether he would like to mount a frontal assault on the entire war. Foote agreed and budgeted four or five years for the job, figuring history would be easier than fiction.

Like many a general, he’d badly miscalculated. “It was like swallowing a cannonball,” he said years later.

Foote read scores of memoirs and biographies. He studied the U.S. government’s 158-volume military history of the war. He walked a thousand battlefields and once even staged a solitary charge and loosed a Rebel yell just to see how it felt.

The result of this effort — 1.65 million words, more than twice as long as the Bible — was old-fashioned narrative history in the grand style of Edward Gibbon’s “Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.” Foote had no academic theory to prove. He concentrated instead on telling the story as vividly as possible.

His description of Confederate Gen. Albert Sydney Johnston’s bayonet charge into a peach orchard in bloom is a good taste of the intense prose: “As he touched his spurs to the flank of his horse, the men surged forward, charging with him into the sheet of flame which blazed to meet them there among the blossoms letting fall their bright pink rain.”

Two paragraphs later, Johnston lay bleeding to death, a femoral artery neatly severed by a Minie ball.

For all its eloquence, Foote’s masterwork did draw criticism. Some faulted him for downplaying slavery and not analyzing in more depth the underlying political and economic causes of the war. Others, including James M. McPherson, author of “Battle Cry of Freedom,” detected a regional bias. More typically, historians criticized the novelist for not adhering to the rigors of professional scholarship. Why, there weren’t even any footnotes!

Foote had little patience for such opinions. He meant to write it like fiction, he explained. “Professional historians think good writing interferes with history, and they’re very wrong about that. It’s the reason people don’t read history.”

In 1999, the Modern Library ranked Foote’s narrative No. 15 on its list of the 20th century’s 100 best works of nonfiction in English.

When popular vindication came with the PBS series, Foote seemed a bit annoyed by all the fuss. He appeared on “The Tonight Show” with Johnny Carson and gave interviews to any reporter who phoned, but he seemed flustered by the fan mail and especially the women who called to coo about his avuncular charm. He regarded the attention as a well-intended but irritating interruption of his work routine, which was as precise as a rooster’s.

Foote lived in a brick Tudor house near downtown Memphis with his wife of 49 years , Gwyn Ranier Foote. (Foote was married three times and is also survived by a son and daughter.) Every morning at 8, he retreated to his study and wrote in longhand with an old-fashioned dip pen, breaking only for lunch and his one mental vice, the soap opera “As the World Turns.” By the end of the day, he would have at least 500 words to read aloud to himself, usually over bourbon. When he finished something he liked, he rewarded himself by reading his favorite authors, chief among them Marcel Proust.

Foote produced little writing after “The Civil War.” He returned to fiction in 1978 with “September, September,” a novel about a white group’s plot to kidnap a black child. He spent some of his last years working on another novel about the Delta, “Two Gates to the City,” whose plot was outlined on his study wall.

But Foote’s reputation was already secure, because he never forgot that history is first and foremost a story. He explained his philosophy by quoting the poet John Keats: “A fact is not a truth until you love it.”

For two decades, Shelby Foote loved the facts of the Civil War. He loved them until he made them a work of art.

From: mike471@excite.com
To:ggerloff@aol.com, joes@cstone.net, allenconsignments@comcast.net
Date: Mon, 4 Jul 2005 22:13:54 -0400
Subject: The Frenzy, a Cherry Bomb Brand

From Nervous Charlie’s Fireworks and gas station outside of Nashville.

I have purchased one unit, 8 inches across, 20 inches tall. One should be sufficient, I believe. Especially, at $37.99.

“Awesome blue chrysanthemums with frantic silver bees,” according to the label.

It was the largest cannon in stock. And, the last of its type, I might add.

The fuse seems particularly short; two inches at most. Will need some consultation from Explosives Expert 1st Class Allen, I believe.

However, the name alone is worthy of HST. We can point this thing in the general direction of the stars, do a reading from the Book of Gatsby, and honor him, secure in the knowledge that he would (will?) appreciate our efforts.

Agenda items beforehand: officially vote him in; consider voting H. Tate in also, thereby demonstrating the RRI/KoMZ’s commitment to diversity at the dawn of the 21st century, and also acknowledging our roots, for Zeus’s sake, and the hot topic of the film project proposed by M/Ms Rudy.

Has anyone been in touch with Howard Carwyle?

Jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2005 12:20:38 EDT
Subject: Re: Your Inquiry into the Offices of PayPal

That has to be one of the funniest selections of the written word I have ever read. All that remains to be done now, is to storm the good offices of Pay Pal, with a hand full of G-8 summit protesters and trash the corporate head quarters with buckets of slime. “Litterboxofdoom,” whoa Nellie. Lets see what this Road Apple smells like. Nine HST dvds? Sounds hot to me. Brother, you are living your own nutty plotline. This has made for cable TV written all over it. Forget NBC, go for Court TV.

It’s time to start getting ready for the TopSail Summit. Word on the street has it that ABA, has a “disconnected Phone.” Other reports inform our sources that “Speedo,” had left the Holy City to drive his mother to an “Adult Camp,” located in the western part of the State of Pennsylvania. This sojourn is reported to be 10 days in duration. I personally, will be there(TopSail) with or without those two apes(Spivey Joe& Mr. Earl). That being said I am still working towards contacting them with an eye towards an easy escape. I have been Dreaming about a visit to Wells Pork Products. Enough said on that subject. I await your next missive, and look forward to meeting in Carolina.

Sincerely,
Ggerloff

From: “”
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2005 14:28:59 -0400
Subject: You can lay it all at the feet of HST’s “The Proud Highway”

gerard:

It all started when I bid on and won at auction on ebay nine classic and obscure HST dvd’s (including “Breakfast with Hunter”) and audio cds from this dude dodd, aka litterboxofdoom (yeah, just too good to be true…) on the ebay service, who, it turns out, lives in Bowling Green, KY, just 90 miles from here (Yikes! what have I done now?).

I wanted it specifically for the evening of July 18 at the beach.

His feedback on ebay was reasonable; only one negative comment.

When the stuff didn’t arrive after a week, he sent me an email saying his wife would be shipping it; he himself, he said, had been in L.A. That, of course, should have served as the first red flag.

Thus began the long saga. I’ve called, emailed, etc. et al, until yesterday, when, 30 days out from the sale and a week from the beach, I was at the end of my rope.

I should have known it was going to get mucky when I found that his other items for sale included a dvd on how to grow marijuana.

Anyway, let’s see what happens. There’s an NBC producer collecting stories of fraud from customers of ebay. So I copied her. And, just for good measure, I copied the corporate communications fellow who puts out all the corporate news releases for ebay. They could ignore all this, or take action. Who knows? Does it matter? I dunno, the catharsis alone may have been worth it.

I’d really like a face to face with Ms. Whitman. You know: “Come on Meg, let’s not bullshit a bullshitter here, okay? You’re going down, and right soon at that.”

Anyway, HST’s “The Proud Highway” is fraught with letters much better than these, but I did what I could.

Spiveyjoehaha says he’s coming. I sent directions.

We’ll get the Wells pork products on the way down. Barbecue and sausages. Get some for yourself on the way back up to Mecca.

We’ll have a nice time, g. No stress, I promise. We’ll just noodle on the state of things in the moment. Ann, in fact, is looking forward to seeing y’all.

And remember: hell hath no fury like a customer scorned.

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
To: allenconsignments@comcast.net,
Cc: mike471@excite.com
Date: Thu, 7 Jul 2005 14:28:59 -0400

Dear Bridg:
I hope all is well with you and you are excited to make the trip to Top Sail Beach. I know that Mike and Ann are. While there we will salute Hunter S. Thompson, and engage in a series of events (designed to pleasure us first and foremost). Joe will be there, and I of course will drive the two of us; if that is agreeable. I’ll check with Mr. Welton as to arrival dates and time. Saturday or Sunday the 16th or!17th, whatever. I know that his children will arrive on Wednesday some time. That also happens to be the day I wish to return to Richmond. Please email or phone me ASAP, so we can put this matter to bed, so to speak. Michael insists that we will have very comfortable digs. I am looking forward to Eating, Drinking, and Fooling Around with you and the fellas. There is an
excellent Seafood Market, two piers, one IGA grocery store, and 5-6 restaurants to choose from. Pack for Sunny weather; items that require fire support, should be packaged in a dry container. Perhaps you should drive over to my house and park your ride while we are on the Road? I look forward to hearing from you soon. Good Luck & God Bless.

Sincerely,
Ggerloff

At 02:43 PM 7/8/2005, you wrote:

All right: Directions attached.

Print this out.

We’re expecting you on Sunday, the 17th.

If you get there in the afternoon, come out to the beach and look for the dual umbrellas. Ann and I will be near them somewhere, if weather permits.

If you get there around 5 or so, brace yourself for a “Bailey” at cocktail hour, which was invented in the 1920’s by Scott Fitzgerald’s friend Gerald Murphy, who also invented the French Riviera.

Monday the 18th is HST’s birthday. As such, there will be some, but very little, business to attend to. Also, a number of HST dvd’s and cds, books etc. to muse over, juleps at the cocktail hour in honor of Louisvilles’s favorite native son, and a large cannon to acknowledge his passing, after dark.

Ann’s cell phone: 502.235.0691

Send me your cell phone #, please.

jmw

From: Joe Spivey [mailto: joes@cstone.net]
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Fri, 08 Jul 2005 15:06:07 –0400
Subject: RE: Summit in Top Sail Beach, N.C. continues to gain momentum

Sounds like a grand plan. I am not sure I can get there on the 17th, but in any event I will be there early 18th. Are all on board? What can I bring that might be helpful? Is there Internet availablity?

At 04:00 PM 7/8/2005, you wrote:

Joe:

Get there when you can; 17th or 18th; call on Ann’s cell and let us know.

Hmm. We’ve always used a laptop down there, with wireless card; you’re welcome to use it for email etc., as I doubt there’s a wall plug in anywhere.

As Ann says, if there’s no dvd player, there’s probably not an internet connection.

The laptop, however, will suffice nicely.

jmw

From: Joe Spivey [mailto: joes@cstone.net]
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Sat, 09 Jul 2005 12:54:10 -0400
Subject: RE: Summit in Top Sail Beach, N.C. continues to gain momentum

I have a laptop with a card so I’ll bring it. Are G and Bridge on board?

At 03:57 PM 7/9/2005, you wrote:

yep. they’ll be there

Date: Sat, 09 Jul 2005 16:02:48 -0400
To: mike471@excite.com
From: Joe Spivey
Subject: RE: Summit in Top Sail Beach, N.C. continues to gain momentum

Superb work …

From: mike471@excite.com
Bcc: ggerloff@aol.com
To: allenconsignments@comcast.net
Date: Thu, 14 Jul 2005 00:28:34 -0400
Subject: a reprieve

Bridg:

woof.

Tried to call a couple of times, but haven’t heard back.

Ann and I would be Honored (Capital H, and this has not been extended to anyone else, ever, family or non-) with your presence at Topsail.

Period.

We’ve all been through a great deal during the past few years.

That’s why we want you with us down at the beach.

It’s selfish, I know.

But life is short and hard.

Let’s enjoy it, easy, together for a couple of days in the sun while we there’s still time.

We can fish, crab, or sit in then sun doing nothing at all.

It’s a comfortable cottage on the oceanfront. All the accoutrements to which we’ve become accustomed will be there. And if they’re not, we’ll send out for them.

Please think back on the times that you’ve unconsciously and unthinkingly extended hospitality to me, wherever and however generously, and please, allow me to reciprocate.

I’d appreciate the opportunity.

Also, we’d like for you to cook.

Can you help out?

stingo

From: mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Thu, 14 Jul 2005 11:13:24 -0400
Subject: lights are on; nobody’s home

Okay mistah gee: Sent mr. earl an email last night, after hearing nothing back from the lad in two telephone attempts. bcc’d you on it. You could also call and remind him of the gunpowder display awaiting his witness, not to mention the barbecue delights to tingle his palate. After that, the ball is entirely in his court. Don’t know what else to do. Let’s see what transpires.

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Thu, 2 Dec 2004 16:14:29 EST
Subject: How Many Chickens Has the Poor Boy Stole?
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Mike
I thought a Bob Dylan update might stimulate you a little. You know I met him a couple a years ago at show at the Fair grounds. His music director at the time was Bucky Baxter, of the Good Humor Band fame. No one was to touch Bob, so of course when he entered the room (with two Samoan bodyguards) I just had to reach out and “slap” him on the shoulder. It was supposed to be “good natured”; so when the event occurred I spoke up and said, “Hey Bob! How ya doin?” Brother, Oh brother … the two “Samoan” dudes eyes got wide and stepped into my path, wearing an air of menace on their faces. Bob looked up from his hooded sweatshirt, and with two squinted eyes, replied, “Fine. How are you?” The Polynesian Sumos glared an unfriendly stare, & ushered the Dear Boy away from yours truly. Bucky Baxter thought this was funny … I was moved by the fact that I had touched “the Hem of his garment.” Those are the facts surrounding my “Deep, personal interaction,” with the Great man. Pretty silly, would you not agree.

Saw Bridg last night, he used my ticket to the VCU basketball game, as I played a show (Cafe Deim.) He was driven by AW Neal. Later that night they were joined by David Berry, which pleased AB. After the show, which was recorded by the way, I joined the dear boys for a Highball and listened to their esoteric, if not convoluted conversations. There was some funny shit spoken. I don’t recall much. I did tell AB that you may in fact be around for Dinner during the Holidays. Send me your tentative program for the Holidays. I told AB that we had important work to do, so lets be about that. Who knows … well I gotta get in touch with Wells Pork Products…Xmas is coming and I ain’t gots no Sausages in dis here house. Lawde hap murcy. How Many Chickens has the poor boy stole?

Send me a few of your lines.

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 17:27:00 EST
Subject: Call for Roto Rootor Summit is answered!
To: mike471@excite.com, allenconsignments@comcast.net, joes@cstone.net

Well you fellas have exhausted me. I am prepared to launch out of here for the summit @ Joe’s 1825 Cottage/redoubt. I will attend to the transportation issues of Mr. Earl. Please advise as to agreeable dates. Planning subcommittee meeting held last night at a location which prefers to stay unnamed, has given the “go ahead” to these plans.

Kudo’s to the Flower committee, for their extraordinary efforts with the Woody’s Creek Tavern Memorial.

Many thanks to MWelton for the first class HST Press Clips coming our way. D. Shifflet recalls seeing me at the HST “lecture” @ the Mosque. He met the man as well, and indeed had him sign a hand-drafted letter of recommendation (Shifflet’s draft).

In the matter of an outdoor event, on Falcon Road: Of course, as is the custom of these type matters/ only modest notice is needed.

Must attend to “matters of a more personal nature”; ABA jr, A.W. Neal III, and yours truly are meeting in a few hours to witness Ovid’s Metamorphosis, at the Singleton Theater @VCU. Need time to reflect the whirlwind of emails, facts, and timing issues presented by the last couple of days. As always, there is no private life in Richmond.

sincerely,
ggerloff

From: joes@cstone.net
To: allenconsignments@comcast.net, mike471@excite.com, Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Thu, 24 Feb 2005 18:48:48 -0500
Subject: Fwd: Call for Roto Rootor Summit is answered!

Summit set for Sat. March 5 - ?. The pleasure of your company is requested.

To: joes@cstone.net, allenconsignments@comcast.net, Ggerloff@aol.com
RE: Fwd: Call for Roto Rootor Summit is answered!
From: mike471@excite.com
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 09:39:02 -0500 (EST)

Well, we haven’t even discussed the length of the visit.

It seems that the actual meeting takes precedent, early in the day, before things get out of hand. Then a visit to the mountaintop, weather permitting. Then a meal of some sort (The Virginian?). Then what? Are there accommodations nearby? Probably need to leave Sunday AM.

jmw

Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 17:07:09 -0500
To: allenconsignments@comcast.net, mike471@excite.com,
Ggerloff@aol.com
From: joes@cstone.net
Subject: Fwd: RE: Fwd: Call for Roto Rootor Summit is answered!

That’s a good plan because things most certainly will get out of hand. I live alone and have two spare bedrooms and a storage room with a bed. You’re welcome to stay here if you’d like.

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2005 13:54:35 EST
Subject: Yes, its Monday, its snowing, My children are home, What’s Next?
To: joes@cstone.net
Cc: allenconsignments@comcast.net, mike471@excite.com

Dear Joe

I am stuck here with some snow myself. I am of course prepared, or I thought I had made clear that Saturday would be fine. I referred to taking care of Bridg, and my only thought really was to either find a first class steak house, or find out if you had proper grilling facilities for a steak dinner. C’ville has all the makings (first class provisions for a shopper like me ) to make a meal at your estate easy. Whatever, I can reschedule given enough lead-time. I’m wondering what conditions are in the world of M.Welton? I mean, what are the snow conditions there? It is impressive that he offered to drive from Louisville as it is. I truly look forward to a get together, and will be as supportive as I can.

Enough for now: its time to return to the Sunday Washington Post (my favorite companion in bad weather.) I salute you sir, and bow deeply from the waist to you.

Till we next meet, Good Luck & God Bless….

sincerely,
ggerloff

From: joes@cstone.net
To: allenconsignments@comcast.net, mike471@excite.com, Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2005 14:32:40 -0500
Subject: Fwd: Yes, its Monday, its snowing, My children are home, What’s Next?

Big G,

I appreciate your response. I was beginning to think that my communications were going to some cyber-space lost planet. I am home as well, and the students are “on the hill”.

I can, of course, accommodate all. I did, however, want to advise all as to the true situation. It is snowing hard here, hard enough to squelch my satellite dishes, at present. A really agonizing issue in and of itself.

My understanding is that I-81 is in serious straits at present, but, alas, no word from the blue grass region, as of yet.

My grilling facilities are none existent at present. I hope to rectify that as soon as I finish the financing of the impending nuptials, not a cheap ride. There is a first class chophouse in C’ville, The Aberdeen Barn. Let me know of your musings on this and any other matters you care to expound on. I, as always, walk in your spiritual shadow.

At 03:40 PM 2/28/2005, you wrote:

Gentlemen:

We need to get off the spiritual plane for a minute or two, and give strong consideration to the realities of life back down here on the physical side of planet earth:

It’s a wintry mix of snow and rain here, but 40 degrees, so it’s not accumulating, just gross. Maybe we’ll get an inch or so, but that will be gone by the end of the week, if not tomorrow.

I have 4WD on demand in the QX4. It works.

My thinking is that we’ll need to take a reading on Thursday evening and Friday morning, and make a decision. The weather on this side of the mountains is different from that of your side.

I wasn’t planning on leaving River City until 8 PM or so on Friday, because I’ve got to go see a guy I nominated accept a silver award at the local Ad Fed banquet. So Friday I was going to drive I-64 east to Charleston, W.Va., spend the night, and get up and drive the 3 1/2 hours to C-Ville on Saturday AM.=20

If the weather won’t cooperate, I won’t go, and we’ll reschedule.

Alternate dates?

Do we need a satellite dish? Will dvds do?

G-Rod: As you know, Food of All Nations in C-Ville has it all, vino included. I can assist in meal prep if pressed into service. Last night I stuffed a 4 lb chicken w/onion, garlic and two squeezed lemons (the juice of which had been suffused generously on the exterior of the bird), then poured tarragon, heavy layers of s & cracked p inside and outside. Laid two stalks of celery cut in half and lengthwise in the bottom of a pan, followed by 1/2″ slices of onions on top of them, and two carrots sliced similarly to the celery on top of that (s&p on all, with a generous helping of olive oil), & then placed the bird on top of all of it, popped it in the oven at 400 degrees and proceeded down to the basement and watched the Tar Heels whup Gary what’s his name and those sad-assed Terps. My wife made a delectable sauce from the excellent remainders in the pan, and we had one of the best Sunday chicken dinners in recent memory. Broccoli with lemon butter, and, brown rice (watch those carbs!) rounded it all out. As I was fixing that chicken, my mind drifted off to the Cornish game hens I have not had in such a long time, and what can be done with them: parsley, basil, cream cheese and bread crumb stuffing etc.

But, a chophouse is okay by me. The veal, Gary, the veal!

Joe: we will need a few items for the secret ceremony to follow the meeting. Can you help out? We’ll need:

1. Wood-burning kit. You know, the arts and crafts tool that writes (actually burns) onto wood. Surely a prep school’s art dept. will have one lying around, right?

2. Black magic marker. Sharpie will do.

3. Digital camera.

I also have in mind some very exotic, hard-to-get Kentucky bourbon, known around these parts as the very best of the 120 different kinds produced in KY. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, I know, but it’s mighty fine for those who know bourbon. If John Tennis Shoe is a 1, this is a 120. I guarantee it.

Let’s watch the weather, boys, and see what develops.

jmw

Bridg, take special note: The Miller School is the site of the former Camp Wahoo, where UVa used to invite all the college basketball players to train in the summer. It was in Pat Conroy’s book “My Losing Season.” He went up there from The Citadel in the 1960s.There should be a plaque there somewhere.

From: joes@cstone.net
To: allenconsignments@comcast.net, mike471@excite.com, Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2005 16:40:25 -0500
Subject: RE: Fwd: Yes, its Monday, its snowing, My children are home, What’s Next?

But the spiritual altitude is the only important one. All right, I have 12″ of snow and it hasn’t stopped. I don’t care if you have satellite.

I am concerned for myself today, a snow day. God’s gift to educators.

My house could be available from June 1 for the month. Another gift from God, summer vacation.

As far as food, I’m amenable to anything, I just do not have a grill at the moment.

As far as the supplies for the “Secret Ceremony” I can most likely procure a wood burning tool and I have various sharpies. The digital camera may be difficult. Does anyone out there have access? Did I miss the ceremony before just as I seem to have a complete blank as to any meetings? I don’t recall any of this…

“If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”

.
To: joes@cstone.net, allenconsignments@comcast.net, Ggerloff@aol.com
Subject: Life after death, Part II
From: mike471@excite.com
Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2005 16:52:28 -0500 (EST)

That would be a lower case s and c in secret ceremony.

It has not been publicly discussed as yet.

But, now that you ask:

We just need to be able to tattoo Gary’s nubile nymph/concubine for posterity, so there’ll never be any doubt as to paternity, even after the lad disavows any knowledge..

Just be sure the equipment is in good working order. And, now that I think about it, it wouldn’t hurt to have a backup.

I may be able to scare up a digital camera from Ann and the Sprint Corporation.

Thanks, Joe.

I’ll circulate a more complete agenda later in the week.

jmw

Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2005 17:12:03 -0500
To: allenconsignments@comcast.net, mike471@excite.com, Ggerloff@aol.com
From: joes@cstone.net
Subject: Fwd: Life after death, Part II

Well that’s good news. I was afraid I had missed that too. I’ll do what I can to secure the equipment. Okay, I’ll await the agenda…
From: mike471@excite.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2005 15:53:51 -0500
Subject: I ride on a mail train…

Sir:

About that chicken: I am heartbroken. My wife took off for Kansas City on Tuesday morning. Monday night she promised, as I looked over her shoulder, to carve said chicken and put it in the Kelvinator for me. As she spoke, I could barely focus on her words, because I was lusting after the two drop-dead gorgeous drumsticks in front of me, their perfectly shaped, glowing golden brown skins coated in lemon and s & p and tarragon. I was so taken by them that I was speechless. I was thinking about how good they would be at room temperature with a good glass of red and some butterbeans. So I got home last night and what did I discover, to my disbelief? That she had carved the white meat, put it in foil in the refrigerator, and THROWN AWAY THE DRUMSTICKS!!!! O Lost, and Unrecoverable Chicken Skin, Brown and Salty, Lovely and Tasty.

I was shattered.

I called her about it immediately, and what did she say? “I was trying to be tidy” was the best she could muster.

I think taking over Joe’s kitchen may be too aggressive. Chophouse is okay. I like a good veal porterhouse. You?

I’m thinking that should this come off, the agenda will look like this:

11 AM: Arrival at the End of the Road.

12 Noon:

1. Call to order
2. Appointment of chair.
3. Officers selected
4. Duties outlined.
5. Blog possibilities.
6. Nomination of HST to honorary member status, discussion and vote.
7. Other potential nominees: H. Tate for example?
8. Gene Rudy film proposal
9. New Business
10. Adjourn

1 PM: Ceremony marking the induction of HST into the chapter.

2 PM: Embark for tour of Monticello, birthplace of the American Dream.

4 PM: Chophouse

7 PM: Return to the End of the Road.

Any additions or deletions before I send to the others?

I’ve got, in the back of my head, a new essay on HST’s passing, and the American Dream, the death of which he reported on. Need to get to Monticello to understand its birth, and also need to refer back in the essay to Fitzgerald’s Gatsby for the illusionary qualities of said Dream.

Orgiastic future, my ass.

From: mike471@excite.com
To:joes@cstone.net,allenconsignments@comcast.net, Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2005 11:30:33 -0500
Subject: Last written word: “Counselor”

Son’s shotgun tribute

Police heard shots as they headed to Thompson’s ranch

By Deborah Frazier and Jeff Kass, Rocky Mountain News

March 2, 2005

Shortly after reporting the death of his father, Hunter S. Thompson’s son walked outside to fire three shots into the air, according to reports released Tuesday.

Several Pitkin County sheriff’s deputies heard Juan Thompson fire the shots as they approached the Woody Creek home, known as the Owl Farm.

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“Juan told me he had shot a shotgun into the air to mark the passing of his father,” said Pitkin County Deputy Sheriff John Armstrong in his report.

Hunter Thompson, who reigned as a savage social critic and inventor of Gonzo journalism for decades, died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in the kitchen of his home on Feb. 20.

Juan Thompson, his wife, Jennifer Winkel Thompson, and their 6-year- old son had spent the weekend and were in other rooms when Hunter Thompson shot himself.

Investigator Joseph DiSalvo allowed Juan Thompson to go into the kitchen alone to drape a golden orange scarf over his deceased father’s shoulders, Armstrong said in his report.

Winkel Thompson said the family had purchased the silk scarf in Florence, Italy, and gave it to Hunter Thompson the night before.

“He just loved it,” she said.

Hunter Thompson, found seated in his chair in front of his typewriter, had typed the word counselor in the center of a page of his Fourth Amendment Foundation stationery, Deputy Ron Ryan said in his report.

Hunter Thompson had started the foundation to defend victims of unwarranted search and seizure.

A soft-sided gun case was found at Hunter Thompson’s feet along with a spent shell casing and a semiautomatic Smith & Wesson model 645 handgun, Ryan’s report said.

The gun’s magazine had six bullets left in the clip, but no bullet was found in the gun’s firing chamber, Ryan said.

“I think a bullet from the magazine should have cycled into the chamber, but if there’s a malfunction, they may not,” DiSalvo said.

DiSalvo said he hadn’t checked the gun, but the weapon could have been on a manual cycle that would have stopped the other bullets from going into the chamber.

The spent slug was found in the stove’s hood behind Hunter Thompson’s body, investigators said.

On Tuesday, the family canceled plans for a public gathering this weekend in favor of a private service.

A larger public event will be held later, but no date or place has been decided, he said.

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Subject: Re: Can’t Buy no thrill….
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2005 21:54:35 EST

No Bridg this weekend. Wednesday night the Dear boy, and myself drove to UHall for the UVa/ NCS/ Good bye Pete Gillam party. AB remarked that he hadn’t had a chance to get updated 0n the “volume of emails”, esp the Michael and Joe correspondence. I explained that things were in the works for the weekend at Joe’s, and that further developments will be revealed. A few moments passed as he reflected, on what I ‘m not really certain. Then he spoke; “Saturday Night I have bought tickets for my mother & myself to the Mary Anne Rennolds Concert series. So, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it up to Joe’s. Do you think any other dates are available?” That’s where I left him. He’s totally in favor of the gathering…but you know how things go. I am prepared to punt, and reset if that’s what works … Maybe that would be prudent, perhaps give Joe time, space, whatever would benefit this movie were caught up in.

sincerely,
ggerloff

From: mike471@excite.com
To: joes@cstone.net, allenconsignments@comcast.net,Ggerloff@aol.com
Subject: Memorial Service Last Saturday
Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2005 09:28:27 -0500 (EST)

All right, Gentlemen:

Joe’s got some issues with this coming Saturday, the 12th, as do I. I’ve got a press conference in Las Vegas next week, and am told that there’s some last minute stuff on Saturday that I’ll likely be needed for here.

So this Saturday is not going to work. We’ll need to regroup.

How about if the four of us look at our calendars and see if there are three Saturdays within the next four weeks that might work.

Or, consider that: The big cannon shot will be on his 68th birthday in July. We could work around that.

What’s your pleasure?

Here’s the update from the memorial last Sat. night:

Wake for gonzo journalist turns political

Former Sens. George McGovern (D-S.D.) didn’t show up as expected, but Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and a half-dozen movie stars, including Jack Nicholson, Bill Murray, Sean Penn, Johnny Depp and Josh Hartnett, did. And Jimmy Carter and former Sen. Gary Hart (D-Colo.) sent warm letters.

They were among some 200 of Hunter S. Thompson’s friends and family who paid tribute to the late gonzo journalist at the Jerome Hotel in Aspen, Colo., Saturday night after his suicide last month.

“It was Hunter 101, what you would expect from him,” said Curtis Robinson, a Washington public relations executive and former Aspen magazine publisher who was one of Thompson’s literary collaborators. “It was a full range of locals who knew him for years and some very famous people who were his friends.”

Robinson, a partner in Qorvis Communications, noted that Thompson’s daughter-in-law made an emotional appeal to continue Thompson’s crusade to free Lise Auman, a young Denver woman whom he felt had been unjustly sentenced to life in prison for murder after her skinhead boyfriend killed a Denver policeman.

“Leave it to Hunter to have his wake become a political rally,” Robinson added.

Robinson said a public memorial service will be held in Aspen in July, probably on Thompson’s 68th birthday, when his ashes will be shot out of a 110-foot cannon, as he wished.

From: joes@cstone.net
To: allenconsignments@comcast.net, mike471@excite.com, Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Tue, 08 Mar 2005 10:31:04 -0500
Subject: Fwd: Memorial Service Last Saturday

Sorry this weekend didn’t work(it’s snowing again as I speak and a prediction of more this weekend anyway). I think, as for myself, a Birthday Party would be in order (noisemakers, cake, games, hats…) Perhaps a long weekend in July. I’m out Easter weekend, duty at school, and things get really hectic from now until the end of the school year … Let me know of your musings….

At 10:43 AM 3/8/2005, you wrote:

His birthday is July 18, a Monday.

We’ll be at Topsail Island. What about a wake at the beach?

Fireworks over the ocean? Stuff a copy of F & L in LV into one of those big cannon-like boomers? Let it go at precisely the same time as the Denver event?

jmw

To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 16 Mar 2005 10:32:53 -0500
Subject: RE: Items of a more
From: mike471@excite.com

We’re hearing out here, through cab drivers and other suspect personnel on the Strip that the gg band is opening up the new Wynn hotel and casino next week.

It’s the message being broadcast on top of all cabs (plasma screens) in between the naked buttocks of the showgirls.

If you can make it in Vegas, surely you can make the Rudyard Kipling cafe on Bardstown Rd. in River City.

You don’t want to disappoint me, and certainly, I feel assured you won’t be disappointing Steve Wynn.

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Mon, 14 Mar 2005 10:39:49 EST
Subject: Items of a more “Personal Nature” derail Gerloff tour?

Dear Woody Boltz

Thank you for your kind inquiry as to The GGB, performing in the Greater Louisville area. At this time, Mr. Gerloff is completing a modest “rehab”, at a private clinic addressing what Doctors describe as “items of a personal nature.” His prognosis is generally regarded as “bright & promising.” Reports have surfaced that Gerloff has received an invitation to attend the Kentucky Derby, and wishes to be there as soon as he can “get patched back together again!” His high sprits & and general soporific nature at this juncture give all of the staff here guarded optimism as to a “quick fix “.

We all look forward to seeing, “The Woody Boltz Trained Cat Theater” on our next visit to Louisville.

Good luck to you and the Cats!

Sincerely,
Jim Gerloaf
Personal Aide/ accountant

From: mike471@excite.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 18 May 2005 12:16:29 -0400
Subject: She was a credit to her gender.

Gerard:

A contract? Sony? Wayyyyyy cool. Get ‘em Gee. Do you need a PR guy? I’m available, and bored stiff.

Yes. Saturday. Here’s what’s up. Friday we drive to Staunton. Saturday to Charlottesville to donate approximately 20 circa 1819, 182 and 1822 newspapers (”Palladium of Liberty,” published by ancestors) to the library’s special collections dept. They’re turning to powder and I don’t want them to fall completely apart on my watch, and UVa is thrilled to take care of them properly.

1 PM: in Mecca. To Powhatan to drop Ann off with her sister, who will have already picked up young Lucy.

Then: 5 PM to 5:30 approximately: the cocktail hour with Mr. Gerloff, late of middle Europe, but now a rising rock star in desperate need of a strategic branding and image campaign. Do you want to meet somewhere? Or at your place? What? It’s your birthday–I’ll buy you a drink if appropriate. You call the ball.

Lemme know.

Have you been watching “Entourage” on HBO on Sunday nights? You’d better get prepared.

I remain,

Stingo, publicist to the stars

From: mike471@excite.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 18 May 2005 16:43:10 -0400
Subject: The P.R. machine kicks in.

Reading the transcript of yesterday’s briefing by White House press secretary Scott McClellan, it’s clear that the press is closing ranks behind Newsweek, despite the magazine’s retraction of a story alleging Koran desecration at Guantanamo Bay. McClellan called on Newsweek to “do all that they can to help repair the damage that has been done, particularly in the region,” and a reporter (apparently ABC’s Terry Moran) bristled:

*** QUOTE ***

Q: With respect, who made you the editor of Newsweek? Do you think it’s appropriate for you, at that podium, speaking with the authority of the President of the United States, to tell an American magazine what they should print?

McClellan: I’m not telling them. I’m saying that we would encourage them to help–

Q: You’re pressuring them.

McClellan: No, I’m saying that we would encourage them–

Q: It’s not pressure?

McClellan: Look, this report caused serious damage to the image of the United States abroad. And Newsweek has said that they got it wrong. I think Newsweek recognizes the responsibility they have. We appreciate the step that they took by retracting the story. Now we would encourage them to move forward and do all that they can to help repair the damage that has been done by this report. And that’s all I’m saying. But, no, you’re absolutely right, it’s not my position to get into telling people what they can and cannot report.

By the way, did you hear about this Gerloff fellow down in the Capital of the Confederacy? A contract with Five Alarm? Unbelievable! I thought he was still in jail on the 17 morals counts for those Korean girls. We at the White House are shocked and appalled! What has become of this country, when a man convicted of running an Asian slave trading and prostitution ring out of a trailer camp in Hopewell, VA is embraced by Hollywood, and, in essence, will soon be riding the gravy train? For the record, we find this to be an outrageous assault on The American Dream.

(Tongue-clucking and muffled laughter ensues all around.)

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Fri, 20 May 2005 11:31:43 EDT
Subject: YOU MADE ME LAUGH WHEN I NEED TO
To: mike471@excite.com

That is the funniest fook’n thing you ever wrote me! And you know I love Terry Moran. Too much. I mean it. Call me about, Saturday and I’ll meet you.

I had just written some stuff about the Game and, Vodka-soaked debate going home. Somehow I hit a “key” inadvertently and the whole Fooking letter is lost. I was pissed till I read the “PR Machine.” That made me laugh aloud.

Sincerely,
Ggerloff

PS: Maybe the letter will show up, and I can send yet.

From: mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Thu, 18 Mar 2004 10:07:37 -0500
Subject: Take a break from those percodets for a minute and confirm this address, please:

Joe Faberman,
c/o Gary Gerloff
XXXX XXXXXXX Rd
Richmond, VA 23225

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Thu, 18 Mar 2004 13:32:39 EST
Subject: Please, not tonight Bateman..
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Friend,

Mail is accepted at this address for the following people:

Herbert W. Bateman
The Great Jose
Poochie Dread
Jim Gerloaf
Gryo Gearloose
That Fookin Knowitall Gerloff

Please bear in mind, no COD’s, or signed receipts are allowed at this address.

Now that that painful business is (so to speak) behind us…I took the tour of Cleland’s Dining Club! The young Dude is living the Dream! Very cool building, done the way you like to see it done. I am impressed..

And on another front, Gerlach himself was greeted by package from FED EX. The International M. Welton Foundation for the Preservation of Reading Skills has awarded Gerloff, the annual “Cut off the TV for Christ’s Sake Award 2004″! Described as an act of “Charity” by foundation spokesperson Woody Boltz, he noted: “We recognized a cry for help when we heard one; He’s really not so different from one of us once you get past certain issues.” The great ape was rumored to have selected All the King’s Men as his first selection from the Foundation’s gift. ” I am flattered, and humbled, by the wonderful gifts and attention from the Welton family. I intend to read all three of these great books and honor the great tradition that the M. Welton Foundation has fostered all these years. After which I look forward to resuming my private life, and helping others when and where I can.” A tearful, shoe-gazing, Gerlofff waved off questions as he was led from the cramped English Basement of what was described as a Upper Church Hill “social” Club, where he was located.

Further inquiries may be forwarded to this Address:
Whatever he’s calling himself these days
XXXX XXXXXXX Road
Richmond, Virginia 23235

From: mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 24 Mar 2004 14:27:44 -0500
Subject: “Gimme that meat-axe!”

Mr. Gerloff, Sir:

I am pleased to announce that I am this afternoon informed by my esteemed, if somewhat scruffy, colleague, Mr. Cleland Burwell Welton II, Esq., lately of Princeton University, Pi Kappa Alpha (also known as PIKE) fraternity, the University Cottage Eating Club, and the School of Philosophy, that two cd’s entitled, respectively, “The Obscure” and “The Familiar,” are en route to you and to me via the United States Postal Service.

I do find favor with “The Obscure” over “The Familiar,” although each stands well on its own merit. I believe that you will be so inclined also; however, you’ll be quick to realize that to you and to me, none of the tunes contained therein could truly be labeled obscure. That would be a descriptor best left to The Great Unwashed.

Delivery can be expected within the next three to four days.

If the creek don’t rise.

Your package differs from mine in a couple of ways: 1. I finally will get to see my gray hooded Princeton sweatshirt, for which I have paid, and will continue to pay for some time, very dearly. 2.) I also get a burned set of cd’s of The Last Waltz, which he’s tossed in as a bonus. It’s nice to know that the lad is 1.) listening to good music and 2.) willing to share it.

How’s the hip? The book?

Spivey joe is not responding to emails. How curious.

My daughter wants to transfer from Randolph-Macon to Ole Miss. I’m telling you: It’s always something.

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 21 Jun 2004 10:52:59 EDT
Subject: Re:Moonbeam has left the Building
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Mike
Sorry to take so long in returning your inquiry re Anne Gray. Sir, I was out of town, in Topsail, for a family vacation. D. Karo got a hold of me on Mindy’s cell on Thursday with the news … and I was unable to make the event. We returned Sunday, and I ‘m getting caught up, and will fill you in on what info I can gather in this regard. Weldon says Anne was brave to the end. Her long strange trip has ended peacefully.This world won’t see the likes of her again. Seeya, Moonbeam.

sincerely,
ggerloff

PS: Unbelievable…John Brown called me last night from his home in Little Rock, Ark says Rusty gave him my number … that’s right … that John Brown…more to follow.

From: mike471@excite.com
To:  ggerloff@aol.com, allenconsignments@comcast.net
Sent: Tuesday, July 06, 2004 10:46 AM
Subject: Dinner Friday night, July 23

Bridg & Gary:

We’ll be in the capital of the mother state on Friday, July 23.

If you two have time for dinner, Ann and I can meet you at the venue of your choice.

If you can’t make it, we’ll book out of town for Topsail Island.

Bridg: the invitation to come down to the beach is open. We’ve got an extra bedroom. Cottage is oceanfront. Cleland could use some finger-picking tutorials. Let me know.

Gary: invitation is open to you as well.

Let me know asap about dinner.

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com]
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Wed, 7 Jul 2004 10:30:07 EDT
Subject: And then the Mills Bros started to sing, Up a lazy river by the ol Mill Stream

I composed a nice, long winded note last weekend to you; however I touched something on this GD keyboard and it was lost to the ages. Drained down some black hole in the netherworld of the internet. Brother, I was pissed. Next thing you know, I’m being summoned to the car to leave on some journey, somewhere I can’t recall today. All I can remember from the note seemed to be agreeing with you that my friends are in fact rude. Other than that, well you know, steal yo’ face right offa yo’ head. That being said, Dinner is a king Daddy idea..on the 23rd. What would you think of perhaps comming over to my house for a little BBQ action? Several of the old Krewe would love to see you guys, and I’m open to the possibilities. This is just a suggestion for you to consider. I love the idea of running away to Topsail, again to hang with you. I’ll consider your offer carefully … there are some conflicts to be addressed. Bridg helped me bid on a Gibson Firebird @ the Eric Clapton Auction at Christies recently: & I was out bid by $5,000.00. My health is returning nicely I think, with my back being declared cured enough to “graduate” from PT.

I look forward to seeing everyone, and hope all is well . I await your next missive.

From: mike471@excite.com
Cc: allenconsignments@comcast.net, Ann.M.Welton@mail.sprint.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 7 Jul 2004 11:19:21 -0400
Subject: RE: And then the Mills Bros started to sing, Up a lazy river by the ol Mill Stream

Geeeraaaahhhhhd:

BBQ at your abode is an excellent proposal. You’re on.

We took a nine pound Boston butt on Monday, put the heavy red dry rub on it, slapped it on the Weber with smoldering hickory chunks for seven hours, and enjoyed an outstanding meal, with both clear and red sauces.

Then the Kentucky tornadic activity kicked up savagely (tree branches airborne at 25 feet, 60-year old ash through roof of neighbor’s house, thrusting attic into kitchen), the power went off, and has not returned to this day.

I gravely fear the loss of remaining pork butt, vinegar and ketchup based sauces, as well as an excellent coleslaw made with Duke’s mayonaisse, all now hermetically sealed in a rapidly warming Frigidaire.

A travesty of monumental proporttions.

My wife blames it on the untimely purchase of a “Dirt Devil” vaccuum just prior to the storm.

So, yes, a barbecue would be appreciated.

Also: see if you can make plans with young Allen to hop in a car and drive down to Topsail the following week for a few days. We’ve got room. CBW II needs some finger style guitar tutorials, and who better than the two of you to help the lad out?

The summer reading progarm, Mr. Gerloff? Lee-Jackson Literary Society anxiously awaits your report(s). How can you educate youreself and justify your existence in the capital of the confederacy if you don’t read the excellent Southern literature as prescribed by your cronies?

jmw
From: “Allen Consignments”
To: mike471@excite.com
Subject: Re: Dinner Friday night, July 23
Date: Wed, 7 Jul 2004 01:34:21 -0400

Hello Michael,

Count me in for dinner on Friday the 23rd. I’ll suggest 2 venues: Mamma Zu and Edo’s Squid. Both are Italian-style bistros. I don’t really care where we go as long as it’s not so loud that we can’t talk. If Gary has a preference I’ll defer to him.

Going to Topsail would be the highlight of my year. If I can catch up on the bills I’ll definitely go. Odds are about 50-50. I’ve got some irons in thefire, but please don’t hold the room open on my account.

Cleland is lucky to have a good guitar. I hope he takes an interest in learning to fingerpick. For my money, the true joy of the guitar is in the right hand. That’s how you get the colors, the nuances, and the magic.

My good guitar, the Santos Hernandez, is in the guitar hospital. Marcus Hansen, the luthier for Colonial Williamsburg, is doing a routine repair on it for me. It’ll be ready Friday, and I can hardly wait. You may remember the guitar. Here are some pics. I might have sent them to you before:

http://ashallen.home.comcast.net/hernandez/

Bridg

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Fri, 9 Jul 2004 14:48:18 EDT
Subject: In this life you either Stand up for Dukes, or you’ll fall for any ole thing
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Mike

I did wonder aloud how you guys were making out with the exotic weather. I monitored the storm front on the weather channel, and soon realized that the weather system was headed towards the Holy City. Yikes! Dudes, and Dudettes, there are people here that are still without power (day #3). We dodged a bullet, when we were 6 hours with out juice. It all started to resemble the Hurricane back in Sept. Yeah, I know how you feel…you even mentioned the Duke’s in the Cole Slaw. We’ll put together something nice and fun for the 23rd. I sure hope you enjoy Topsail as much as my family and I do. I want to go back ASAP, and will see as to the possibilities of addressing the Lee-Jackson Literary
Society at their summer meeting. I am trying not to obsess about Dukes Mayo, but I am planning a visit to Mr. Sauer (he represents the brand for the business) in order to effect a
trade/or whatever for some imprinted sportswear (tee shirts/golf hats). He can be difficult, however I am prepared to play “dirty”. More to follow, as I will look after your interests if at all possible. Now I must take my leave … gotta Friday night show @ Club Sophia’s, with Saturday off, and a Sunday Gig @ Evelenton Plantation on Rt.5 for an engagement party … I wish everyone more electricity, and safe passage through this world of trouble and misunderstanding. I remain your greatest admirer.

sincerely,
ggerloff

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Wed, 28 Jul 2004 18:38:04 EDT
Subject: Then Michael said to me: “You’ll Love the Petersburg Fair!” & I did.

Dear Michael

Yes is the answer, now is the time, and this is the place … assuming that the question is : “Is Topsail cool or what?” Dudes & Dudettes, it truly grieved my heart of hearts not to get in the green truck and run away to your circus. When my eyes glazed at the mention of the Tuna … well …I still lost a little piece of my tenuous hold on reality. Fella, you said like I like to read it. Soft shells, Lump Crab, even the lowly shrimp made my eyes all aglaze for that seafood market. Ah, yes, what a world. Now I bring only my vino, my garlic, and cooking tools (ok, I forgot certain condiments & herbs & extra virgin Olive Oil.) How bout that IGA store? I know your rallying cry well: “Next year, two weeks.” Lets work on that together…

On the matter of the two CD’s, the “Familiar & Obscure.” The Familar, besides being excellently recorded, was the aural landscape of my happy youth. The sound track of the docudrama of my bittersweet/manic opera of a life. Oh the memories. I guess I remember mainly the good times … the up-tempo stuff. You were there for most of it. Tantilla, Camptown, Betty Brown, Beach music … Richbrau… the face of Bob Watson! St Andrews Lane, Doc White’s, Yellow VW convertible, your lovely gracious mother.
You knew then that these were special times, and what we did was special. We didn’t leave much on the table.

Sorry Lucy, but some things are better left unspoken. You should know that yourself!

Sorry to report, no I am not sorry really … I just haven’t got to the Obscure. I have been enjoying the Familar/and am pleased to replay it. I’ll try Thursday to embrace something new (the Obscure.). I know it will be my reward.

Have you checked out the Sea Turtle Hospital? It’s Ok. Something to do … if you need that in your life. Beauchaines Resturant if you need a meal out, I found to be excellent … And Sneeds Ferry … let me know if you did that. … perspiring minds want to know. I emailed Wells pork products yesterday, and they replied today! Let me think about ordering direct, as you’ll have enough on your hands returning home. Boy oh Boy, is that a King Daddy place …I Know it will not be wasted on you.

I’ll write ya later about my CD, “Ancestor Worship.” The excellent guitar player in question is the extremely talented Charles Authur. In my live show I employ a wizard named Eric Byland. VCU (guitar) instructor/major league talent, and my version of Mick Taylor/ Joe Pass/True Garcia guitar stylist. In the live show I have him there so that the guitar “freaks” have something to Drool about. Don’t get me wrong, I ‘m not bad at what I do on the six string, and I’ve got my own fan base, I know… but I’m there to provide entertainment and the people dig it. It is Sshow Business, after all. More to follow.

Enough of this … it’s time for Peter Jennings. Gotta GO. I remain your great admirer.

sincerely,
ggerloff

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Tue, 27 Jul 2004 11:11:32 EDT
Subject: They pronounce it “Top Sul”, not “Top Sail”..fair enough..indeed…allright..
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Michael

Of course, I left some unfinished business to take up with you. This isn’t too tuff of a request. Please consider honoring my request if at all possible. On the way out of Topsail, off route 40, which connects to 95, is the Great Wells Pork products. This is one awsume place! The Email addresss wellspork@wellspork.com, phone #910-259-2523 (owner Earl S. Wells). If you are planning to return via Richmond, would you consider picking me up say, 10 lbs. of Savory Sage Link (or rope) Sausage, and 10 Lbs. of Hot Sausage. It was on sale for 1.49 per lb. … and they also offered Cajun Andouee Hot Half smokes pretty cheap as well … Whatever the cost, I will fully recomp to you. …You see, or as you would say: “here’s the deal”… this type of pork product is not readily available in this part of the world. “If this is “doable,” I would be most grateful, and I would have a stock of King Daddy, Kick Ass country breakfast links, to last me through the winter. They have Styrofoam coolers there (and Ice) on site. You should stock up as well. Get out the credit card, cause there is lots of cool stuff to get … whew … Okay, that’s enough of that stuff. Friday night was just fabulous, (the house looked as if a wedding reception
had occured the next morning) and what a treat to spend time with your wonderful children. Thank you both for sharing. Lucy is truly beautiful, and Cleland is quite the gentleman! Well done by the parents! Please let’s not let this be the last visit for a while. Bridg spent the night, and lounged till 2:30 the following da… we ate fruit, drank coffee, speculated on a number of topics … praised Jah the Almighty. .. and generally bemoaned the weather.

Glad you guys like Topsail, and I wish I wish I was with you. Check out Villa Caprini, I would be interested in your feed back. Get me a report on the Seafood Market behind the Hardees (at the Bridge)…same for the restaurants in Sneeds Ferry … that is if you have the time/inclination. Good luck, and Godspeed in your pursuits.

I remain, your pal…

sincerely,
ggerloff

From: mike471@excite.com
To: tatexxxx@earthlink.net
Date: Mon, 22 Dec 2003 15:53:13 -0500
Subject: Backstage at Chicago Concert?

Howard:

I’ve just reserved two seats, for my wife, Ann, and myself, to see you perform in Chicago at the Shubert Theater on Jan. 16.

They’re good seats: Row C, on the aisle.

But I was hoping we might get a chance to see you backstage. I’ve got a copy of the “Get it While You Can” cd that Jerry Ragavoy signed for me, and I was hoping you might do the same. Besides, Ann is dying to meet you.

Can you arrange passes backstage for us?

Hope the Europe/Japan tour went well. Your web site indicates it was very good.

Thanks, and have a great Christmas!

Mike Welton
Louisville, Kentucky

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Subject: You see there was this box over at Welton’s house, full of 45 singles…
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Thu, 25 Dec 2003 13:42:14 EST

Dear Mike

I hope your trip to the Holy City was good. And we noted the stunning portrait of your beautiful niece in the Sunday paper! Sorry that we were unable to see you two, but that will happen soon enough I am sure. But Lord almighty, is there news to share! Starting with the re-emergence of Bridg. All of a sudden, he has been attending basketball games, and meeting with the lads in restaurants, being all social again! I do not know Anne’s situation, but she has moved back to the gallery and AB maintains the apt. on Grace Street. It’s like old times … more to follow.

Just when I thought that the holidays could not get any sillier, I got trumped! Mindy & I were Xmasing Tuesday night at the Fan District home of Betsy Coffield. As I stood in the kitchen waiting my turn with the bartender, a deep booming voice said: “I want a bourbon, not a Jack Daniels.” I looked over and saw the bespectacled face of, get this: David A. Southworth! I immediately innoduced (Bob Dylan spelling please) myself and he charmingly remembered me. And then we commenced to talking … Lord what a good time …Yes he was the stuff … He remembered The Sahara Club, Tilly’s Dine and Dance, Tantilla and Mayco Productions. And of course, he spoke highly of you. I told him how to me any way, the he and his Krewe were positively my heroes. How, through you , I was turned on to so much cool music. Shoot Michael … he was even caught up on Howard Tate. I shared with Dave your book proposal and story on the Apostle. Southworth was even aware of my modest music career, as well as Manny Green! Brother, I was blown away … I just wished you could have been with me.

Well, this old wheel has got to get a rolling. We’re all leaving, with the Karo’s, Sunday 6:00 AM for a cruise out of Miami for a week. Xmas this morning was sweet and the Babies (Boy and Sister) are newly distracted. Last night the Queen and I hosted my mother’s 78th birthday dinner here. I cooked to perfection a Standing Rib Roast. I had to pick them up at 5:30 p.m., and return them at around say 11:00 in order for Sue to sing at Midnight Mass with her choir. Now I must get ready to join my brothers and their wives and chilluns at the Hotel GERLOFF, located on Beaverbridge Road! Yeah …Yeah …it’s all too silly, it seems. My parting words will be: “write your great book.” And look up these old characters that wish to hear from you. You know I wish for Ann, you and your
children … a most wonderful holiday and much Love.

Sincerely,
ggerloff

PS: Southworth did double over when I said to him, “Dave you are the author of one of the greatest lines of all time. “What would that be,” the bow-tied and bespectacled one replied. I mustered up my courage, and as I started he joined me in laughter: “No money, No clothes. Two sisters, Nine toes.” All those years I thought the line was Six sisters, Nine toes. I told him: Don’t be surprised to find it on my next CD.

From: mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 29 Dec 2003 12:22:08 -0500
Subject: Wine spodeodee

Mr. Boltz:

How appropriate that Southworth was, at the moment of your discovery, adamant in differentiating between bourbon and Jack Daniels. It’s an important distinction.

Congratulations on the find.

His is the driest and subtlest of wits, and must be listened to with a cultivated and respectful ear. He must be regarded as a Source. Stay in touch with him.

It occurred to me over the weekend that if you wanted to locate that Styrofoam cooler full of 45s, you would need to find Bob Watson. He had them all jammed in that damn thing, gritty and scratched and beer-stained, the last time I saw them, circa 1973.

Southworth would know where to locate Bob. Make the earnest attempt to track him – and-those 45s – down. As I watched the Blues Brothers movie the other night, I realized that they were doing what we’d been doing many years earlier, and I must say, we had a leg up on them, mostly because we had access to the 45s, which were a much more in-depth library from which to make our selections.

I got, over the Internet last week, a cd of early Ike and Tina Turner. Their first. It is raw and powerful stuff (Tina calls him the “Thriller”. He says: “You mean: The Killer.” All this banter over a reverb, primitive guitar licks.) You must hear it. I will have Cleland burn a copy for you.

I have tickets to H. Tate in Chicago on Friday the 16th. Third row from front in the orchestra. I emailed him about back stage passes but haven’t heard back. Will call him later today.

Best to all.

jmw

From: mike471@excite.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 5 Jan 2004 15:49:04 -0500
Subject: Howard says: “Don’t pay for any more tickets”

G & Joe:

Howard’s got backstage passes for before the show for me. He says come back before the show and hang out with him. Wants to talk about the book.

Also said not to buy any more tickets. He’s got comps if I need them.

All his shows in Europe and Asia were sold out. In Paris, they gave him the 2003 Jazz & Blues Award.

Is not happy with the Rolling Stone story.

Show is Friday the 16th at the Shubert.

Michael

To: ggerloff@aol.com
Subject: Your basic spectacular
Mon, 19 Jan 2004 14:00:18 -0500
From: mike471@excite.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net

garrygee:

We saw him backstage before the show on Friday night; talked for about a half-hour. Had his attorney from Nashville there; A remarkably nice guy. And his road manager, also a good guy.

They all knew me as “The Guy Who Wrote the Louisville Article.”

Howard is 5′6″ at the most. Energetic. Genuinely seems to like me. Says he’ll call about the book proposal within a couple of weeks.

The show was excellent. 400-500 people for the blues festival in attendance. All the songs from the ‘68 album, except, curiously, “Baby I Love You.” Opened with “Stop.” The Uptown Horns are fantastic, and he’s got this excellent blues guitar player, sort of a 55 year-old New York ethnic Jewish type. Scorching version of “I Learned it All the Hard Way.” And of “Get It While You Can.” Some stuff from the new album and the ‘72 album too.

His voice, at 59, is totally intact. Doesn’t miss many of the notes at all.

He puts on a show, all right. Choreographed for the most part, ends with him going out into the audience and exhorting everyone with a spiritual tune from the new album .

We went to see him after the hour & a half performance. He was tired–couldn’t even stand. But we think he really appreciated us being there.

We got some photos that haven’t been developed yet. When they are, we’ll scan them and send them. Also, he autographed the cd that Ragavoy had already signed and sent to me. I’ll take a pic of that too and send it.

Verve is re-releasing the “Get It While You Can” album.

All in all, it really does seem like a miracle.

Got the Ry Cooder Chicken Skin Revue “Show Time” cd, finally. It is excellent. Last two tracks are phenomenal.

Ebay had a 45 of “Baby I Love You” on its site last week. One lone bid for $9.50. So I put a $20 ceiling on my bid. It sold for $20.50; I got outbid on something we’d have paid 10 cents for 30 years ago. I was surprised that it would go so high.

Best to all.

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Tue, 20 Jan 2004 12:07:39 EST
Subject: Re: You are living the Good Life
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Brother,

What great news! A lifetime of waiting, rewarded. Your narrative pleased my soul to read. Now I know why the camera is so kind to the Apostle; in the great tradition of movie and pop stars he turns out to be 5′6″! Sounds as if the show was just stellar! God Almighty knows that I would have been with you two if I could. The pain that I am living with has disrupted everything I wish to do. I had a MRI done on Friday at a Sports Medicine clinic, that should reveal what condition my Hip is in. These are trying times.

Bridg offered tickets to the UVa basketball game tonight, but the idea of getting in the car for an hour up and back even with Mr. Earl just wasn’t enough to overcome the “inflamed hip, Bursa” I mentioned to AB, your kind offer concerning the Derby … and he liked it. Maybe we can pull that off, assuming I am not in a wheel chair. He sent me some photos of Duck Baker from his recent Richmond show, along with Duck web site. I’ll send ‘em on to you. I’ll save my tales of woe from the Holiday cruise for another time; it was truly the “Voyage of the Doomed.” USAir lost our luggage; it arrived at 11:30 p.m., 4th night of the cruise in the city of San Juan. Four days of living like a bear in the woods. That’s enough for now.

More H. Tate, more book deals for you, and a reprieve for my arthritic hip. I am outta here.

sincerely,
ggerloff

From: mike471@excite.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Tue, 20 Jan 2004 14:42:42 -0500
Subject: Dark End of the Street

Gee:

Most unfortunate news about the hip. What’s the deal?

And the luggage? Yikes. I would have been tempted to just buy all new clothes and then make their price the airline’s problem.

Discussed James Carr, author of “Dark End of the Street,” with Howard. Carr’s 45 of that tune, which, as you know, is covered magnificently by you, and on the Ry Cooder “Show Time” cd, was in the original cooler of 45s on Franklin St. in Mecca. Howard remembered Carr very well; was, I suppose, on the “Chitlin’ Circuit” with him.

It was nice to see Mr. Tate, but kind of sad too. He was working hard at age 59, trying to do what he should have been doing as a young man. I had to wonder if he has enough time left to make the money that’s due him. Also, trying very hard to time everything just perfectly, which he did extremely well for the most part. But he wasn’t loose, and really looked to be working at it, rather than having fun. Ann said we should see him in a club setting, where people can dance, and he can get the feedback from a crowd in motion.

Please, if you can, do me the favor of sending back my original email of the meeting with H. Tate. I forgot to save it to my sent folder. Am working on a short non-fiction piece, and I need it.

Gracias.

Take care of the Inflamed Hip, Bursa. It sounds remarkably like a soundtrack for the new cd. Kind of creaky and moaning, though, like those early H. Wolf recordings.

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 21 Jan 2004 17:08:14 EST
Subject: Fwd: Your basic spectacular
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Mike

Is this the Email that you were referring to? I have just viewed the Video you sent from Iraq. Gawd Almighty … More than I can bear to witness. Am I glad I am not there? Those people just don’t want to assimilate and act right.

This morning was spent at the sports medicine clinic, receiving cortisone (directly injected into the hip!) The kindly doctor was more interested in discussing The Finger Lakes Music Festival, where yours truly performed in the mid-nineties with the great Joe Mead and the Belligerent Bros. Than explaining the many colors of the MRI that I made over the Lee-Jackson-MLK weekend. His comment was I think,” nothing too unusual here. A little Calisifaction,a spur, a little asymmetry of the hips…Have you ever heard of Jim Laudermilk? Good guitar picker…Oh yeah … what about a shot of Cortisone for that hip?”

“Sure … how bout ASAP.”

You know the rest of the drill … His lips moved, but couldn’t tell what they were saying … I was just happy to move from the foot of the Cross.

Whining Boy gots nowhere to go … ain’t it a shame?

Bridg Allen Report: Well my nickname is Speedo, but my real name is Mr. Earl: AB receives the Bball tickets from brother, along with the wonderful parking pass (ah the number is “3″, a mere 50 feet from the main entrance hall). Wahoos won last night, amazingly … these may well be the last days of the coach Pete Gillen, who hasn’t made very well of his opportunities. No report on Anne Gray…

H. Tate got a good review in the Plan Nine Magazine, and some good press locally,
however he receives nothing like he deserves …There are those of us, well, this is just preaching to the choir … I’ll temper my remarks from here forward.…

I am thinking about Osso Bucco, Salice Salentino, Fried Oysters (Tempura battered) Roasted Red Snapper (head on), veal sweet breads, kalamari…yes it’s true … I am addicted to “Food Porn.” As the old Gospel song goes, “I’ve drifted too far from the shore.”

The Voyage of the Damned Report: too painful to go over again. Let’s just say claims are being filed with insurers and USAir. Attorneys next. Gerloff stops, and stares at the floor.

In closing, I am reminded of the wisdom of the saying where I come from,” No Brains, No Headaches!” Dear God, what have I wrought. I will contact you soon..

Good Bye, and Good Luck…I remain,

sincerely,
ggerloff

From: mike471@excite.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 26 Jan 2004 17:35:33 -0500
Subject: Re: dyke & the blazers, among others

Gee:

Very sorry about your hip. It’s much worse than I imagined. Is there surgery planned? I certainly hope not. As Ann says, bad stuff happens in threes. Did you count them all?

A most unfortunate development, although I know people who’ve gone through the hip replacement deal who are good as new now.

July 24-31, we’re at Topsail at the Breakers cottage in North Topsail. If you come, you must have your hip in working order, that you might participate in the annual Welton Family Touch Football Affair, usually scheduled for Friday afternoon.

It’s almost as world-renowned as the legendary sessions of the Lee-Jackson Literary Society, a daily, afternoon debating club that touches lightly on politics, writing, deconstruction, beer, philosophy, fish, laziness, ethics, Gatsby’s illusions, money, and the inevitable “What will we eat tonight?” conundrum, all conducted vigorously under the shade of The Dad’s umbrella. Two umbrellas have already been ordered for this year’s sessions.

Here’s the cottage info:

https://cbcoastline.com/list/listing/detail.aspx?PropId=96&PropType=15

I have compiled a short list of tunes. Waiting for three more cd’s to arrive. When I have them, I’ll ship them up to CBWII in Princeton; he’ll burn them for us.

I’ll send you the list tomorrow; you can check to see if I’ve got the sequence right, and if I’ve left anything out.

I was quite surprised to find the Darrell Banks tune on a cd. I had no idea anyone would actually remember him, much less put it on a compilation.

jmw

To: mike471@excite.com
From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 26 Jan 2004
Subject: Re: dyke & the blazers, among others

Mother Trucker!

Just what I need to hear! Dyke & the Blazers, Homer and Darryl Banks! The WANT play list, Good Gawd Almighty!!!! Take me to the Bridge! Get on the Good Foot! Welcome to Tilly’s Dine & Dance … Oh boy, I need to come back to Terra Firma … Geeze Mike, a fella could sorta, you know sprout wings and … explode. Burn me one…Maybe a little Solomon Burke … aw shucks … the very image of the cooler… OK, let’s get a little composure going on here. OK Welton, am I to infer that the last week in July is your Topsail week … Then I’ll make an attempt to secure our place from last year to coinsider … Confirm and more to follow. Those G&T’s with the sweet soul music will be that much more crisp. Thanks for a shout out on a Snowy day, it has helped take my mind off this Bursisits/ Sciattica/ Bullsh*t … 2 MRI’s last week (aka the tunnel of Love), thank goodness the Queen is around to keep my SPIRITS up … My children make me very happy, and are well-mannered, so I have to invent sh*t to complain about. I guess I should accept what the fates have in store for my hip (and my life) and not turn into more of a Whining Boy.

OK, I’m working on the Derby … No Vegas this year … Topsail Island and that great Seafood Market, ( Prawns the size of Baby shoes…yes and Double yes). Music from the Welton Vault … Next week I’ll attempt to tell the tale of the “Voyage of the Doomed” in language that may well help exorcise the *”Hell hounds on my Trail, Hell hounds on my Trail.”

Get back to me…I smell some thing good in the air. May be it’s the “Rare Double Kiss?” of the cue ball?

sincerely,
ggerloff

From: mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Tue, 27 Jan 2004 15:03:39 -0500
Subject: Tutorial

Okay, Gee: Here we go.

You’d kind of have to imagine that you’re a 19-year-old wise guy from Princeton who already knows practically everything there is to know in this world, or an 18-year-old sorority wannabe from R-MC struggling to get down to the books at last, who think that The Dad is something of an eccentric anyway, who’s fairly strict when it comes to the “work first, play later” ethic, and who listens to boring classical music over dinner.

Also, they understand the H. Tate/Daddy-O connection, and are somewhat bemused by it. Lucy can sing all of “Ain’t Nobody Home,” and has on a number of occasions, naming it her favorite, outside of “Sweet Home Alabama.”

But the kicker is, outside of the obligatory lessons for Cleland over the pool table (Fathers & Sons, Howlin’ Wolf, Big O, John Hurt, Willie McTell, Miles, etc.), they don’t know much about the influence of African Americans, particularly those with a Virginia/Carolina/Memphis bent, on mid-60s good music.

So here’s a first shot at explaining it, without words. A musical precept, if you will, intended to be instructional for later life:

1. 60-Minute Man: The Dominoes
2. It’s Gonna Work Out Fine: Ike & Tina Turner
3. A Fool In Love: Ike & Tina Turner
4. I Idolize You: Ike & Tina Turner
5. Hit the Road Jack: Ray Charles
5. What’d I Say (Parts I & II): Ray Charles
6. Stubborn Kind of Fellow: Marvin Gaye
8. The Monkey Time : Major Lance
9. Shout (Parts I & II): The Isley Brothers
10. Hey Girl Don’t Bother Me: The Tams
11. What Kind of Fool: The Tams
12. Be YFH: The Tams’
13. Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher: Jackie Wilson
14. It Will Stand: The Showmen
15. 39-21-40 Shape: The Showmen
16. Hey Baby: Bruce Channel
17. This Old Heart of Mine: Isley Brothers
18. What Does It Take: Jr. Walker
19. A Lot of Love: Homer Banks
20. Whole Lot of Love: Darrel Banks
21. Funky Broadway: Dyke & the Blazers
22. Tighten Up: Archie Bell & the Drells
23. Dark End of the Street: James Carr
24. Wine Spodeodee: Sticks McGhee & His Buddies
25. Cowboys to Girls: The Intruders
26. Stop: Howard Tate
27. Ain’t Nobody Home: Howard Tate
28. Get It While You Can: Howard Tate
29. Baby I Love You: Howard Tate
30. Baby I Love You: Howard Tate

What did I leave out? Is the sequence, and the rhythm, right?

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 2 Feb 2004 14:25:17 EST
Subject: Fwd: Dave S. hits big time
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Mike

I am sending Dave S.’s message in order to introduce him to you. He ’s the real deal, and I may add a really good guitar player. I personally like the fellow, and was shocked to find out that he is a big time writer, with real credits … a real pro. Any way I thought that you two would make a good hook up and I like to try and see that things of this nature can work.

I’ve been suffering from this Bad Hip business, but I’ve honored all my commitments and am now free to combat this. Doctor’s visits, and 2 MRI’s, have revealed the source of my misery. Two, three years ago I slipped down my steep ice encrusted driveway trying to retrieve the newspaper. Apparently, a little bit of a lower Back Disc slipped out in the process. Pain sure enough, however I recovered without knowing what had really happened. Cut to March 2003…while loading the family GMC Yukon, for a long weekend at Hatteras Isle, I slip down the freshly carpeted Stairs leading to my English basement/Drinking Parlor. Yes I was sober. I was drunk I am sure I’d never been hurt. That being said, I have been living in pain ever since. O the 2nd event, it seems that little piece of “disc” has “traveled” up my spinal cord, and constricted an area that should be 18 centimeters wide, to 1.5 centimeters. This is the source of the pain. One surgeon suggested that we “kill” the offending scrap with a Horse needle full of Cortisone, which should give me an immediate 40% to 70% pain reduction (if not more).The disc will eventually break up and pass through the body in a 2-ear period. Now if that don’t work …. Number Two: go through my back with a 1/2 inch incision, in a cone like manner, then taking a toenail clipper of sorts, and just remove the offending pinching piece of disc. Of course, there are risks with surgery, like infection, paralysis, loss of sensations, and of course loss of motor skills and incontinence. Option number one looks good; I’m getting a second opinion anyway.

I’m working on North Topsail; more to follow. Look into Dave S., who knows where it could go. Love to the Familas…

sincerely,
ggerloff

Attachment:

Hope all is well. I have decided that my primary purpose on this earth is to soak the rich. in that regard, I am trying to sell my services as a speechwriter to some of the local magnates. I wonder if you know any you think might benefit from my kind and costly ministrations. I’ve pasted my basic pitch, plus qualifications, below. All else quiet. Thanks for any insights

dave

My name is Dave S.. I’m a writer who lives locally (Midlothian) but who writes for national and international audiences (publishing credits below). I also do corporate writing, usually for the White House Writers Group in Washington. I have written for presidential candidates, cabinet secretaries, and members of the U.S. Congress. I am now looking for clients in the Richmond area, especially those in need of an outside speechwriter and/or someone to ghostwrite op-ed pieces and magazine articles, and wonder if you could direct me to the person on your staff who might handle such inquiries.

Thank you very much. Best, Dave S.

Publishing credits: The Wall Street Journal, Smart Money, Reader’s Digest, Good Housekeeping, Salon.com, Travel & Leisure, The Washington Post, National Review, The Manchester Guardian, Crisis, Telegraph Papers (London), Utne Reader, The Los Angeles Times, Food and Wine, The Oxford American, The Weekly Standard, San Francisco Chronicle, American Spectator, The New Democrat, Investors Business Daily.

Books: Christianity on Trial (co-author: Vincent Carroll), Encounter Books, San Francisco, 2002. The America We Deserve (with Donald Trump), Renaissance Books, Los Angeles, 2000. Currently under contract, Endgame: Extinction, Penguin Books, New York, publish date Jan. 2005. My work is included in various anthologies, including Backward and Upward, Vintage, New York, 1996.

From: mike471@excite.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 2 Feb 2004 15:04:39 -0500
Subject: What is Hip?

G:

I will keep Mr. S’s stuff. Let me noodle on this for a day or two; Sometimes we need writers w/ national connections. We just picked up a nice new client in DC. They’ve got a speechwriter on staff, and a public affairs guy too. Might be something there, though, you never know. Let Dave S. know that I’ll be in touch, please.

Hey: Whatever happened to Christian Gehman?

On the hip business, I’d go with option one. It sounds like what JFK had. The pain was so bad he was getting multiple daily injections of cortisone, novocaine, methedrine and other weird stuff. According to Richard Reeves’ book, he told Bobby he didn’t care if were horse piss, as long as it took the pain away. There’s speculation that he made the famous “Ict bin ein Berliner” speech right after getting a big bang of speed. If you look at the footage, you’ll believe it.

Not that you’ve got a huge political future, mind you, but you’re in the company of leaders with the back pain stuff.

I can send you some little-known Kentucky small batch bourbon that will amaze and astound you, while easing your pain, if you’d like. That, along with the new Welton-produced “Black & Tan Beach Music 1965-68″ cd, and a copy of “All the King’s Men” (the unvarnished, Pulitzer-winning story of Huey Long!), could take your mind off things for a little while, anyway.

Two years is a lot of time, G, but surgery’s scary. Get a second, and a third, opinion.

Grammy awards are next Monday. Say a prayer for the Apostle.

jmw

From:: mike471@excite.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 1 Mar 2004 14:15:03 -0500
Subject: Re: okay: all tunes, except one, assembled.

Gary:

We’ve put in a good word for you, and will continue to at 2nd Presbyterian here.

Still waiting for the Willie T. cd; as soon as it arrives, I’ll pack it off to Cleland with the others, and get a copy to you. I’ll send it with a copy of “All the King’s Men” and some small batch bourbon, to hasten your recovery. You’ll have time to read this very excellent political/philosophical novel, muse on the tunes and contemplate the limestone-enriched whisky.

Should I send you the Tate book proposal for you to forward for a critique by your man?

Cleland got into Cottage Club: it’s the Princeton eating club most favored by the Southerners up there. Prestige. Has a maitre-d; each member has his own cubbyhole for his napkin.

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Mon, 1 Mar 2004 13:32:15 EST
Subject: Re: okay: all tunes, except one, assembled.

Dear Brother,

Petersburg! Home of the “Mouse Trap”, nightclub and chitlin’ emporium. Sticks Magee, Willie Tee, brother oh brother, it’s no mystery to me. Hey I might be able to use that one in a tune. Hmmm…Tell the Lad to burn that CD, ASAP. I’ll need it as a recovery aid. Yes Mike, this Wednesday I’ll be going to St. Mary’s for a surgery. I’ve had it with this “Pain Management”, and my personal physician, (a native of Petersburg, or Peter’s patch as he calls it) and I have researched and gone through about 8 or doctors on this program. One, Dr. Wilson who performed on Drew Karo and countless others is our neurosurgeon, and a old classmate. He says, 85 to 90% success rate, and that is being conservative. I am totally encouraged, and ready. This little piece of disc that is pressing on my nerve has befuddled my crack medical team”. It only took 3 years, and 2 MRI, to figure it out. Recovery time is 4 to 6 weeks. Bring it on is what I say! I’m ready to vacate the “House of Pain.” Ready to resume my happy life.

In regards to Dave S., He is a good guy. I might add, a straight shooter and no phony. I’ll do my best to see that your interests are served. He might be able to shoot your project to the right editor, I just don’t know. I know I have a certain trust with him. Please advise as to my input.

Now I’m not asking any one to wear out the knees of their pants praying for me, however all thoughts and prayers are welcome.

sincerely,
ggerloff

From: ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Tue, 2 Mar 2004 21:28:51 EST
Subject: Re: How was I to Know Life would turn out this Way
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Mike,

Thank you and your kind congregation for their prayers. I’m going in tomorrow at 11:00 for my procedure, and look forward to vacating the “House of Pain”. My daughter Claire, read to me this evening the story of Pandora’s Box. It humbles me, and astonishes me that God sent me this angel. As I write this to you, she has informed me that she will now play ( or rehearse as I refer to this), piano for me. Brother, some days it’s too much for the old Pooch to take in. I feel blessed, and I don’t know what I have done to merit such love. That’s enough of that sort of rambling. I read in the paper that the Miller school is playing in the VISL basketball tourney at St. Chris tonight. I know Joe is the AD there, and I’d love to see him, but my hospital prep stuff won’t allow me to go and be there with him. There will be another shot at seeing Joe soon I hope.

In the matter of Dave S. and the book proposal; If you wish, send it on over, or I’ll get an address for him if you wish. What ever suits you.

Congrats to Cleland on the Dinner society. That sounds very cool, I want to visit one day! Do you remember Craig Poole, from TJ? He passed away Friday from a quick bout with Cancer. There have been too many people this year that have moved on. I thought you might have known him.

OK, thanks for the shout out … Kiss the queen … keep the faith. I’ll be touch as soon as I can. I remain your pal.

sincerely,
ggerloff

From: mike471@excite.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 3 Mar 2004 09:03:19 -0500
Subject: Re: How was I to Know Life would turn out this Way

Gerard:

You’ll be up and at ‘em in no time.

Not to worry.

And, you’ll feel much better to boot.

I’ve got the tunes lined up. One set to be labeled “Obscure;” the other, “Familiar.”

I’ll send as soon as they’re burned. Probably another week or so.

Also: will send book proposal under separate email. Don’t worry about that now.

My best to all. Next time I’m in VA, let’s drive up to C-Ville to see spiveyjoehaha.

Email me as soon as you’re able.

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Tue, 9 Mar 2004 12:00:54 EST
Subject: Gerloff Hosts Thong Party with Nurses at Local Hospital/ Film @ 11:00
To: mike471@excite.com

My Dear Boy!

I feel I have vacated the “House of Pain”! I am sore of course from the small incision that that was made, and other than nerve repair that is part of the process, I am on the path to “Wellville.” The procedure was deemed a success by Dr. Wilson, the neurologist.

They knocked me out around 1:30 p.m., and I awoke to being “uncatherized” around 4:30pm. Mike, I had no idea how powerful anasetesia (I ain’t got the time to fool with small stuff like spelling right now.), was! It was a “Black Hole”, and I don’t remember a thing. A social buddy of mine, Dr. Stoneburner was in attendance, and he sort of held my hand and helped me through “The Tunnel”. He said I did fine and that I had no embarrassing moments while sedated. Whew!

OK, moving on … I was moved to a room, and introduced to the Morphia, and the nurses who administer the “drip”. They were so nice. And strong, lifting me around, and shifting me around, and poking me, and awaking me in order that I may have unfettered access to the “Morphia”. Michael, I learned that one does not go to the Hospital to rest or recover. I never really slept that night. Every 45 minutes to an hour, I was being attended to or monitored in some fashion.

Well, in order to cut to the chase…The ole Doc discharged me at 11:00 am .We picked up a bunch of percocets from the hospital pharmacy, and drove to pick up my son from school. Now, I have been instructed that I will be on the “Disabled List” for 4-6 weeks, and not to lift anything heavier than a teacup. That’s fine, I am at peace with any deal they want me to make. Hey brother, I was walking around the hospital room before midnight the day of the surgery. I’ll be visiting Dr. Wilson this week sometime, and I am just trying to enjoy these percocets and the mini-vacation that comes with them.

In conclusion, yes indeedy … I am totally optimistic and loving life. Every day the repair process brings me further healing and proof. I look forward to resuming my happy life. On another note …I just hope I don’t become a complete pain in the ass/and or burden to Mindy. She has been my Rock to lean on, totally there in every way for me. I will be aware ( as much as is possible for a guy like me) not to be too demanding. I hope.

Anyway, thank you and your family for you kind thoughts and support during this difficult event. Things are getting better … It won’t be long …. we’ll be together having a few pops, talking about the old days, and making policy for the future! I gotta believe in that.

I look forward to your next missive, and assure you I ain’t a going no where for a while.

I remain your PAL.

sincerely,
ggerloff, master of the loose fitting Gown

From: mike471@excite.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Tue, 9 Mar 2004 12:31:26 -0500
Subject: RE: Gerloff host Thong Party with Nurses at Local Hospital/ Film @ 11:00

Congratulations, Pooch.

Very good news.

I’m pleased. Hadn’t heard anything, and couldn’t figure out whether to email you or not. I was worried that an email would bounce back with something like “Paraplegic” or “Drool Only” or “Mumma Din’t Love Me” on it.

I will send you some stuff to aid in your recuperation, pronto. Reading material from my own favorite Tales of the South selected reading list. All are intense and quite the tales. You will like them, but you’ll have to dedicate yourself to these books, and skip the damn television for a few weeks. These are:

1. The aforementioned “All the King’s Men” by Robert Penn Warren. It’s the definitive book on politics, set in Louisiana, pre- WWII. You have people in N’orleans, don’t you? They’ll know this book, and you’ll have a new frame of reference for them.

2. “Lie Down in Darkness,” by William Styron. Set in Hampton, VA and NYC. Styron’s a Virginian (you’ll recall him as “Stingo” in Sophie’s Choice.) The book’s set in post WWII, and is said to have focused on the family that published the Hampton Daily News.

3. “Sanctuary,” by The William Faulkner. Enough said. Watch the UVa graduate make a fool of himself repeatedly. And: what’s up with the corncob, the guy who whinnies like a horse, and Temple Drake? Moreover, who does she remind you of?

Also, something from Kentucky for your teacup.

The cd’s: CBWII should have received the playlist and 18 master cd’s today. He’s in the middle of midterms this week, but will be free next week to burn these two: 1. The Obscure, and 2. The Familiar. I’ll email him your address, so he can ship one directly to you.

I’m going to purchase a copy of “The Mind of the South” by W.J. Cash, a graduate of Wake Forest, for reading at Topsail. It’s supposed to be legendary and instructive.

go get ‘em Gee.

jmw

From: mike48=71@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 10 Mar 2004 15:39:13 -0500
Subject: Amusement(s)

G-Man:

Knowing that you’ve got time on your hands, I have actually ordered a few books for you that should arrive next week.

No papers will be required, but there will be a number of random pop quizzes later this summer.

Now, for some real amusement while you’re involved with that percodet stuff, go to the link below, and take the virtual tour:

http://www.princeton.edu/~cotclub/

You’ll never think about the college experience in the same way ever again.

jmw

From: ggerloff@aol.com
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Thur, 31 Jul 2003 13:46:35 EDT
Subject: Re:Get it While You Can!

Hey Rube!

Sounds like you ‘ve got a plan together! The Willard sounds perfect, and the venue is the tits. I want in on this. Just bought the the CD, and find myself getting primed. I’ll investigate as to whereabouts of young ABA, and his gig. Now to the subject of Carolina Beaches. Yes and Double Yes to Emerald Isle! I do enjoy that place, and Manny Green will be returning next week to the Isle of Verde. As a matter of fact, “Bus Head” Peter White bought a VA repo in Beaufort ( is that the county?) and met me there for a round of golf that was all shits and giggles. My family liked the smooth beach, and the general way that the rental people dealt with us. But Mike, I gotta tell you, try Topsail. It is a smaller version of Nags Head, oh, 30-40 years ago. There are only 5 restaurants( 4 of these are Fry Houses, one Chinese/ sushi joint.), two piers, a King Daddy Seafood market on the docks(everything seemed to be cheap, big Shrimp and Prawns as well!) And the funniest, and/or coolest part, there seems to be every type of Beach cottage native to the Carolinas … from ‘50s trailers with additions painted US mailbox blue, to Architectural Digest trophy homes with plenty of ‘70s and ‘80s stuff in between. Michael, it was like turning back the hands of time. I feel that I’ve fallen in love with that place. This may be the last of the old style Carolina Beaches left. You know sooner or later the New Jersey bunch will stumble upon this quaint, pristine, Holy place. I don’t mean for things to sound like they do, but … Anyway, good to hear from you, let’s stay in touch on this Birchmere gig, as I have to weasel out of a commitment if I am to do this…I remain your admirer and Bagman at Large.

sincerely

ggerloff

To:ggerloff@aol.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net
Date: Thu, 31 Jul 2003 18:16:37 -0400
Subject: start weaslin’!

Gentlemen:

The drill,then:

1. Mike leaves louisville on Friday night the 8th.Probably stops in Lexington VA to spend the night. Cogitates over VMI and his father’s generation.

2. Mike leaves Lex on Sat am, heads to Cville to pick up spivey joe. Muses over Jefferson and the big nasty head of steam now picking up against him.

3. Mike and joe head to mecca, catch up with the odd Mr. Bateman and lightnin’ (if he’s available). Discuss the unusual nature of this city.

4. Mike, Joe, Gman & ABA Jr. head to the Willard in DC (how many reservations? I’ll make them, just tell me). Review hotel lobby where US Grant was said to hand out favors, thus the term “lobbying).

5. Tune up in the Round Robin.

5. Head out to the Birchmere. Joe: do we need tickets in advance? Can you handle, or do you want me to?

7. Get H Tate’s autograph on the cd that Ragavoy’s already signed.

8. Enjoy the Uptown Horns (The horns, Gary, the horns!) and the Apostle himself. I’ll bring the newspaper article just published just this week in Louisville’s alternative weekly, hand it off to Howard.

9. Drinks atop the Hotel Washington, overlooking the White House.

Who’s in? Who’s out?

Gman: I like this beach though I’m willing to try Topsail. Don’t like the yanks on Avon etc. Won’t go there any more, after 40 years.

I have deconstructed The Great Gatsby; will structure a new novel using its form and intricacies.

Watch out, fellas.

jmw

From: joes@cstone.net
To: mike471@excite.com
Cc: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Tue, 05 Aug 2003 16:51:22 –0400
Subject: RE: You spoke, I’ll Listen…

Ditto to all can’t wait for the movie. What do we do about tickets?

At 04:27 PM 8/5/03 -0400, you wrote:

When I told him what a great story the whole gestalt made, Ragavoy said: “wait until you see the movie! ”

Also that he wouldn’t be playing himself.

I suggested Tom Hanks.

He said: No. Brad Pitt.

jmw

On Tue 08/05, Ggerloff@aol.com
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Tue, 5 Aug 2003 13:29:38 EDT
Subject: You spoke, I’ll Listen…

Hey Rube!

Of course I am in! Willard included! This will give us time to fine tune, Get Speedo on board, and build our war chest. I just received from the record store the 2nd CD, “Howard Tate”, and now want that Reggae album you refered to in your stellar story on the Apostle. Dude, a nice piece of craft, done with a loving touch. It brought up lots of old emotions and great times. I still see that big box of 45’s at your mothers house, what a treasure chest that was. Looking at what you did for Howard Tate, now maybe you could consider taking on the case of the Great Homer Banks, another one you introduced to me. Oh yeah, my address is still:

J.G.Gerloff,jr.
XXXX XXXXXXX Road
Richmond, Virginia 2XXXX
804-XXX-XXXX

I remain your greatest Fan.

sincerely
ggerloff

From: mike471@excite.com>
To: joes@cstone.net
Date: Mon, 5 Aug 2002
At 05:09 PM 8/5/03 -0400

Can’t order tickets ‘til Birchmere confirms the date. Can you handle? There will be four if Lightnin’ comes along. I’ll repay you; you’ll have to lean on the big g and mr. earl for theirs. I’ll take care of reservations at the Willard.
Send me you address asap, and I’ll mail you the article this afternoon.

Ragavoy was awesome to talk to this morning. He knows he’s done the right thing, and he sounded truly satisfied with what he’s wrought. It was odd to hear how nervous he was about performing on Letterman.

jmw

To: mik471@gmail.com
From: joes@cstone.net
At 5:10 PM 8/5/03

I can handle the tickets, let me know when it’s rescheduled.

Joe Spivey
P.O. Box 4
Batesville, VA 22924

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 3 Sep 2003 14:59:42 EDT
Subject: Perspiring Minds want to Know
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Michael

I trust all is well with you and the Family. I had heard that Lucy is enrolled at Princeton, is that the case? If so Awsume! If not the case, well forgive me as the info I get is almost allways second or third hand. And I am sure that Celand is making you proud: and how’s the guitar coming…good I hope. More news: Mindy and I have been invited to a Baby Shower for Lisabeth and Rusty! They are adopting a Russian baby, from what I am informed. Said shower is being hosted by Sally and Gray Schmidt, at their wonderful farm, located on the aptly named Bourbon Lane in Historic Powhatan..If I don’t see you there, I’ll write back with whatever niblets of gossip I can recall. I know perspiring minds want to know…Enough of that stuff for a while. Lets go to the main event. Howard Tate. What’s the update? I am unwavering … Birchmere … Willard … Speedo, Mr.Earl. … Spivey Joe? Goose, kid, let’s go forward. I remain in your debt….

sincerely
gary

From: mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net
Date: Thu, 11 Sep 2003 17:52:47 -0400
Subject: Birchmere on Sept. 28: it’s on!

Mr. Faberman:

Just got off the phone with The Apostle Tate. He’s on for Sept. 28 at the Birchmere. That’s a Sunday.

Birchmere website confirms it.

I’m in Princeton w/Ann on Friday night the 26th for a football game.

I think the Willard plan still holds, but I don’t know how I can get from Princeton to Charlottesville to Richmond without a Learjet.

Ann and I can drive down from the University on Sunday morning. Open to suggestions for how you can manage a convergence of Spivey Joe and yourself, ABA Jr. if possible, on Sunday afternoon the 28th.

Suggest we go to the Hotel Washington 12th story veranda overlooking the White House and Washington Monument for a snack before the show. We could meet there, or at the Willard.

When asked, The Apostle said that no one is writing the book on his story yet, but that he wants to talk to me about it.

Could a screenplay be far behind?

Yo!

jmw

From: mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2003 18:21:38 -0400
Subject: I learned it all the hard way

Cat Handler:

I have ordered five (5) tickets via American Express to be held in my name at the Birchmere for the H. Tate show.

They’ll be at the will call window.

Note the FAQs from their website below. Shows start at 7:30 PM. Doors open for first-come first serve at 6:00 PM.

We can pick up tickets at 5 PM and get an early line number (see below); if we get an early one, then we’re close to the stage when doors open at 6:00 pm.

I’m thinking we pick up the tickets at 5, get a bite to eat nearby, then be back at 6.

If we talk to Howard before the show, perhaps he’ll want to move us to VIP seats. No pressure, though.

That puts the Hotel Washington veranda off until after the show.

Your thoughts? And Joe’s?

bene factum

jmw

To: ggerloff@aol.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2003 17:55:24 -0400
Subject: krewe d’etat(e)

Honorable, faithful, noble and Germanic Gerlofficus:

Gotta keep spivey joe haha in the loop on this. Copy him on all correspondence, please. You’ll need to figure out logistics with him to assure his presence. And lightnin’ too.

I have a sense that the Birchmere is first come first serve when it comes to seats, so we just need to get there early. Don’t know about squeezing the Apostle Tate for tickets. The book conversation will be delicate and intense enough; I have a feeling that if I can get him to agree to discuss it, that Ragavoy will have to be part of subsequent discussions. And then, the lawyers. Not to mention publishers (gotta work that out.).

The book (and screenplay) are only thoughts right now. It will be a coup if we can pull it off, though.

The Hotel Washington (Joe’s been there) is less expensive than the Willard. It’s got views, though, both on the veranda, and in the corner rooms. Also: there’s a statue of Sherman within walking distance that is truly astonishing.

The Willard may be more discreet as an overnight venue, however.

Why don’t we look into booking rooms at the Willard for Sunday night, Sept. 28. But, meet at the veranda at the Hotel Washington at, say, 6:30 or 7:00 PM? Have a bite to eat, a glass of wine, then head across the Potomac to be at the show by 8:00 PM. It starts at 9:00, I believe. Perhaps we can have a conversation with the Apostle before the event.

You are correct: there is, I believe, an invisible hand at work here.

miguelitos

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Fri, 12 Sep 2003 17:09:17 EDT
Subject: I had just listened to “I Threw it All Away”…Who knew What Was to Come Next
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Mike:

I had just read your news of the Apostle Tate, and had put together a thoughtful reply, when the lights went dim, and then glowed, and dimmed again. What followed next ruined what was possibly the greatest piece of Praise directed towards you ever written. I waxed of the greatness of your task, and how God in his Divine wisdom had put you on the Planet to do this great work. The Book, the screenplay, the personal Bonding with the Artist … but you know the drill …. I caught myself and admitted aloud … there is no quicker way to foul up Michael’s possibilities than by singing his praises … and then the screen went blank … Black … no life … who knows what happened. … here I am now, so I’ll … try to stay focused … I think you should run the ticket side of this gig, given the facts of the story. I mean after your great piece, and your personal relationship with the Artist…maybe we could get hooked up with the seats of a “lifetime”… I know that might introduce some pressure, but don’t allow it to occur. We’ll do the best we can I know, I just had to say that out loud…You know how I am. I like the Pre-game plan on the 12th floor bar @ the Washington Hotel. I’ve never been there. You are the point man on this. Let me know how and what type of “Krewe” we’ll put together..Where we should consider setting up HDQ’s..Hotels that may allow our “Krewe” to umm…shall we say..do things the way we need to do them. I await your responce. What a day for news! It all started so slow and sad, and now this! Check this out:

I awoke to learn the following news:

1) The Death of Johnny Cash
2) The Death of John Ritter
3) The Death of Sgt. Carter,( The Gomer Pyle Show)
4) The rescheduling of the Howard Tate Show!

What a Roller Coaster ride! Let’s pick up where we left off, and see what tomorrow brings.

Sincerely

Jim Jerloaf

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 12:35:50 EDT
Subject: I invoke the name of the Great Howard Tate
To: “bridg@alleninternet.combridg”@alleninternet.com,
Cc: mike471@excite.com, joes@cstone.net

Have you been in touch with Mike? Well the legend himself, Howard Tate is playing at the Birchmere, Alexandria on Sunday Sept. 28, and Michael has emailed me to rally the Troops. Spivey Joe, you and me, Ann and Michael. Sounds like big doings ,and the culmination of a lifetime quest to the question of what happened to him? Michael has writtten a wonderful story on H.Tate for a magazine that you should read, and will enjoy. Get back in touch, Get on board, and ride that Mail train…I await your response.

Sincerely,
Gary

From: mike471@excite.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 14:08:00 -0400
Subject: What you don’t know, you don’t know

Garrrrry:

In her infinite wisdom, Mrs. Welton has suggested that rather than drive through Our Nation’s Capital after the H. Tate show, we simply book a room at the Courtyard by Marriott in Alexandria, which is nearby.

Frankly, I like the Willard. They’ve got a weekend rate of $175 for Sept. 28. And the Round Robin Lounge, of course, is there.

I did call the Hotel Washington. The top floor terrace hours on Sunday night are 6-10 pm; I’m afraid we’ve missed it this time.

Your thoughts?

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2003 15:05:24 EDT
Subject: Please, Not tonight Bateman
To: mike471@excite.com, joes@cstone.net

Dear Boys
I have just left the Web page at the Birchmere, where the sad news of the cancellation of the Sunday show was confirmed. This was shaping up to be an historic weekend, with so much promise. I truly looked forward to spending time with everyone, and witnessing the great man himself perform. Joe, and the rest of krewe, we will have to create time so that we can see each other and revel in each others company, talk about our happy, exagerrated, fun filled youth, and make new policy for our unwritten future.

First that No good, rotten, mutha truck’n, Hurricane comes through and takes me out of my rhytum for six days, no electrical power, cramp hotel living for a couple days; and now this! Ah yes, well ,who is to say? Like the song said, ” Let’s hang it up, and see what tomorrow brings.*” I got no answers, but I sure feel “like I’ve been mistreated, and I don’t mind dying.” To quote the Great Robert Johnson, (Walking Blues.”)

Mike and Ann, well the fact that Cleland has his first game this weekend is a blessing for you both, and I salute you both for you good fortune. That and your wonderful daughter. Life turned kindly for you both, and I know that y’all earned it.

Oh well, I’ve gotta dial up the Willard..and cancel the room. It’s stop and stare at the floor time for a while, and time to remind myself that, “They can’t revoke your soul for trying.” *

Let’s figure out the next move.

sincerely,
ggerloff

* Line taken from the Greatful Dead Epic, “Truck’n”.

From: mike471@excite.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net,awelto01@sprintspectrum.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 15:07:05 -0400
Subject: The elusive Mr. Tate

Well, Mr. Gee:

I just had the most amazing conversation with the elusive Mr. Tate.

The Birchmere cancelled, he said, because of damage from Isabel.

That’s two cancellations from them, and he doesn’t want to book there again.

He’s going to Europe in November. Back in the states for a show in Chicago on January 13.

Is interested in coming to Louisville, he said.

Gave me his manager’s name and phone number. Simon Howrock. Ever heard of him?

Told me to encourage Simon to book him in Louisville, Nashville, Cincinatti and Indianapolis.

Is very interested in talking to me about the book. Has already made 30 tapes of his life story. Wants me to talk to Simon about it. After that, I can go to him, or he’ll come here to discuss further. If that happens, you’ll have to come into town. You too, Joe.

After the Birchmere cancelled, he stayed at home, 13 miles from Princeton, where Ann and I were. I couldn’t get his phone number off the disc I had; it was Mac compatible, and I couldn’t get it open, even on a mac at Kinko’s. Very frustrating.

Gave me his new home phone number. He’s got a new house.

I’m still a little stunned.

Anyway, Gee: Ann and I will be in Richmond this weekend for Parents Weekend at
R-MC. Unsure of our plans at the moment, but let’s figure something out.

Now on the football thing. Need to be clear: Cleland is playing on the sprint football team. That’s for students 165 lbs. and under. Levels the playing field and gives the lighter players a chance. Donald Rumsfeld was on a championship sprint football team in the 1950s, when it was 150 lbs. and under. What’s important is that after playing since 5th grade and never starting, CBWII now starts and has the opportunity to catch balls on a real team against the rest of the Ivies, West Point and Annapolis. A sophomore, and he owns the wide receiver slot. It’s way cool.

Give me a call today or tomorrow and we’ll see about this weekend.

jmw

From: mike471@excite.co
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2003 16:07:43 -0400
Subject: Facts of the matter

All right, gentlemen, the facts as they stand:

The Apostle Tate’s agent said candidly that the reason the Birchmere cancelled was due to lack of ticket sales.

I got the impression that Howard may not have known this as the real reason.

Agent said that because he’s been out of circulation for 30 years, he doesn’t have the following he should.

That’s how a book could help, I said.

He agreed. Said that they’ve got some literary agents interested, but no writer decided upon as of yet.

That Rolling Stone’s got a piece on him coming up. Their writer said the story’s purely American: It’s got race, religion, rock & roll and ripping off.

I emailed him the article from July. I’ll send him a proposal next week. We’ll see what happens.

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Thur, 2 Oct 2003 13:45:20 EDT
Subject: He looked at me and said, “No money, No Clothes, Six Sisters, Nine Toes”

Dear mike:
How cool is that! Your boy a football star! Do you find yourself say’n,”How in the worlddid that happen?” Man oh man, I can’t tell you how happy I am for the Mother&the Father. And to be playing for such a prominent (and storied) football program! This is the stuff of dreams for lots of folks … I will be following the Ivy League a lot closer in the future. I know he’s a good kid as well. So, when do you plan to slip into town again? Maybe you could visit us, when you next call on Lucy at college? I know your pals would look to that as an opportunity to gather for oysters/ good fellowship/ high minded conversation/etc. I am looking to throw a modest Oyster Roast, or what have you. Armistead made mention that he may come home for Thanksgiving, from Seattle that is. Of course I would love for you and Ann to stay in our home; yes I have a King sized bed (with a feather bed) in the guest room. And my children are pretty smooth I guess, or maybe I’ve just become used to them. Any way, you both are welcome if you choose.
Now on to pressing bidness: Are we snake bit or what? Just the other day, I’m driving down the street, minding my own affairs, when suddenly like a shot out of the sky, it occurs to me, “Hey, this car’s got a CD player. What am I doing listening to this Sh*t?” I look in the CD receptacle, and there it is, HTate Get It While You Can! All right, shoot, I had just bought this Town & Country ( LXI) mini van for Mindy and the babies and had not really driven it at all. Well, Dear boy when, I popped that bad boy in, whoa..I was teleported back to the Planet That Time Forgot. Mike, that is still one the Great works of music ever created..It’s one thing to sit back in your easy chair and listen to your favorite music … but Dude … me in my suburban soccer mom mobile cruising down Cary Street Road, with “Ain’t Nobody Home” blasting away at a relatively high volume, put me back in touch with my youth. Now, I’m sitting and staring out of the window, wondering if I’ll ever see the great man. It all seems to be just a bit much to digest…Oh well….That’s enough for now. Good luck, and love to your wife. Tell her I might have to send her some pictures of Claire and James seeing as we didn’t get to do that in Washington.

sincerely
ggerloff

Date: Mon, 27 Oct 2003 17:27:28 -0500
To: mike471@excite.com
From: joes@cstone.net
Subject: Re: Howard Tate interview on NPR

Cool, yes, please

At 01:44 PM 10/27/03 -0500, you wrote

I’m listening to a tape of an interview by Terry Gross on NPR’s Fresh that aired at noon today in Louisville.

It’s with Ragavoy and Tate.

I can make a dub of it for you if you want

Gary: Thanks for the kind invitations. We’ll get together
soon.

jmw

Date: Mon, 27 Oct 2003 17:29:12 -0500
To: mike471@excite.com
From: joes@cstone.net
Subject: Re: Tate/Marley album re-released

I have the CD

At 04:28 PM 10/27/03 -0500, you wrote
Gary & Joe:

So I’m behind on the book proposal on Howard; called his agent and left a message to duly inform him.

Then I thought I should call the Apostle himself and let him know that it’s in the works, and that I’d send it to him and Ragavoy for comment before sending to the agent.

So we’re talking about the Europe tour coming up, and I asked him about more cds; he said: well, you know, they re-released my 1969 album. I said: you mean get it while you can?
He said: no, the one I did on the Turntable label.

I said: the one with Marley backing you up? He said: yeah; Reflections. They re-released it on Amazon.com on Oct. 7.

Says they’re thinking about a gospel cd next. Says he’ll stick with Ragavoy til the end of his career.

US tour will restart in January in Chicago, with Koko Taylor.

I’ll look it up.

jmw
From: Ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 17:29:39 EST
Subject: This is a Tale that Needs to be Told by the Right Person
To: mike471@excite.com

Dear Mike
Well thought-out proposal. It all seems so simple to me, as to compelling nature of his story. I sure hope that the powers that be can see that you are attuned to this man’s career, and the times that shaped him. The music industry seems to underwrite, such inane, short sighted, bullshit driven marketing campaigns that this Book may well be too clear of a vision. I “ll muse on what you’ve sent me, and see if there is anything of substance that I can offer. In the meantime you know I wish you well, and Good Luck with this.

I remain,
your pal…

sincerely
Ggerloff

From: mike471@excite.com
To: Ggerloff@aol.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net
Date: Mon, 10 Nov 2003 18:08:53 -0500
Subject: The harmonics play the skeleton keys of the rain

Gerard:

Too clear a vision?

It’s got drugs, murder, mystery, racism, religion, rock & roll, and rip-offs.

But alas, no love interest. Unless you include the strumpitas at the Turntable Club. Or his wife, of whom he never speaks.

The unclear part is the Ragavoy connection to the withholding of Tate’s early royalties. I don’t know what his role in that was, and whether he profited by it. I have a feeling he did, but don’t know for certain.

Dunno, G. I had to make the effort. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, I’ve taken my shot. I sent it to H. Tate and to Ragavoy, then called them both. They’re heading to Europe with the agent for the tour over there. If I don’t hear back from them today, I’ll forward it on to the agent tomorrow. There may be someone else with a proposal for him–I just don’t know.

I appreciate your taking a look at it, however. If you can find a way to improve it before I send it to the agent, let me know asap.

Talked to Rusty last weekend, because my Alfa steering box is cracked. He had young William with him. Seemed quite content

All glory is fleeting.

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 11:40:26 EST
Subject: Re: The harmonics play the skeleton keys of the rain

Dear Mike

I have just read Rolling Stone issue 936, ( cover photo of some woman named Jessica Simpson,”House Wife of the Year”); page 46, The Rev.Howard Tate, by Jason Fine. It reads as if the author lifted it verbatim from YOU. I was shocked by the way it seemed to come from your hand. It seems to read as if you ghosted it for the writer. I am not trying
to get your dander up but, this fella Fine may owe you a debt. I am sure that my relationship with you and the story enters into my feelings on this matter. Protect yourself on this, as your work predates this article. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I am proud of the work that you have done. Sorry if I sound bitter, but who knows what type of games these people are capable of. I sincerely hope you sell the book proposal, and get a chance to complete this work. Shit, you’ve got the history with this story, you deserve it.

Ok, Hmmm…Rusty..a Daddy…well as you know there is nothing like having a child to refocus your life upon. That’s what I told him. I think I said, “This will give you something to think about other than your own miserable, self-centered, life.” He laughed, and replied. “Shit.” I am sure the ole Judge will do just fine, and overdo some things and work over time at having a perfect child. I am happy for the three of them. What sort of philosopher will this boy become? Who knows? I do know this will be fun ( I hope) to observe. God bless them all. Okey Doak … that’s more than enough from the likes of me. As you once said to me,” You know, a dog dancing on its hind legs, and a woman preaching are two thing not artfully done.” I can’t remember where you said got that quote, but it still cracks me up to this day. You can add my ramblings to the list with the dog and woman preacher.

sincerely,
ggerloff

PS: There is nothing that I could suggest that would improve your Book outline. It stands perfectly fine on its own. It will be a good piece of work.

From: mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Cc: joes@cstone.net
Date: Tue, 11 Nov 2003 12:01:30 -0500
Subject: Yikes!

gg:

That would be Samuel Johnson:

“A woman preaching is like a dog walking on its hind legs. It is not done well, and one is surprised to see it done at all.”

Or something like that.

We can thank Anne Gray for that; I bought a two-volume set of Johnson’s books from her years ago.

I’ll check the Rolling Stone out.

jmw

From: Ggerloff@aol.com
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2003 12:59:49 EST
Subject: It all seems so silly now, as I reflect upon what I wrote…

Dear Mike
I hope that you are well…I was getting a little “Jonesy” for some H.Tate news. You know it seems to me that I was getting my daily fill of news of the Rev.Tate, and now not to be getting a Daily update.makes me feel well you know “OUT OF SORTS.” This has become a strange dependency. Anything out there left to be said.concerning the great man? Oh well, never mind me…nothing to report here, outside of my daughter’s 9th birthday party on Saturday. Ten of the sweetest nine year old girls from Claire’s 3rd grade class..at the comedy club, for 2 hours. Oh yeah what a grand time was had by all. I look forward to your next missive. Till then, Ah…that’s enough for now.

Sincerely,
Ggerloff

From: mike471@excite.com
To: ggerloff@aol.com
Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2003 14:31:14 -0500
Subject: dude: where’s my falsetto?

gg:

He’s in Europe.  Paris, Belgium, London, then Japan.  That’s all I know.

The Rolling Stone piece was a downer on a number of levels:

1.  The thought of him sleeping on a sofa in a house on a river where he has to catch catfish and bass in order  to eat, having been bounced out of his church for deciding to sing again.

2.  The Harold Lloyd gun-slinging deal on Ragavoy, and the subsequent questions as to who the real killer was, as indicated to you in my previous email (on which, by the way, you wisely refused to speculate).

3.  The Rolling Stone writer’s style was good, leading me to believe that maybe he’ll get a book contract.

jmw

From: ggerloff@aol.com
Subject: Re: Hear that sound, willie boy?  The flying dutchman’s on the reef…
To: mike471@excite.com
Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2003

Dear Brother

Well it just goes to show, if ya want to amuse God; tell him your plans.  I’ll keep on, keeping on until we are together again.  Shoot..who knows what the Divine plan has for us. Now I love the idea of H.Tate in the Windy city, and  God knows I loves Smith & Wollenski’s( the one in Las Vegas is a cornerstone of my visits to that Godless city.) And this year I flatly turned down the Annual Super Bowl Party @ Ceasar’s..why, because I ain’t driven by all that Gambling,  24 hour Weldon  and Drew mini-drama. I needed a break from that kind of Bizzaro world, and granted it to myself. Then a kind invitation to my  cousin’s 4th or 5th child’s Baptism in the city of New Orleans arrived. My cousin, Jimmy Beacher married into a real nice family down there, and including their wedding I’ve used any excuse to assemble with those people that presented itself. Now these people have a home in the French Quarter, and some condos that  they rent (and sometimes have offered to me for Free!).  This ought to be a hookup for us down the road. This event would  be coming on the heels of a trip to Chicago, and the cruise.  I’m trying to gauge the mood of the Queen as far as my travels go? She remarked the other night,”that Howard Tate will just cancel on you and Michael.” I snapped back, “Bite your lip!” I decided not to bring up the Museums, or chop houses, or fun Hotels. Seriously, she is very supportive of just about anything I want to do, so I Try not to burden her with so much info as to my life, and my foolish pursuits. I’m focused on Mindy having a great time on this cruise, as well as the children having big fun.  So in keeping with that, I’m just sort of feeling my way arround the program of the Apostle Tate. We’ll see what tomorow will bring. I agree, we better see him before its to late.

I refer to James and Andrew as the “Monkey Boys.”  They delight in trying to torment Claire, whom I have tried to guide with the phrase, “Revenge is a dish best served cold.” But she is too pure a soul to really take this advice to heart. She is
in fact religious, I believe.

Whew, all this hard think’n makes me tired.  I know Cleland has made you plenty proud; did you get the Document Records catalouge? If he has any interest,  this bunch is the best of the lot. There is so much there that you’ll love.

One more thing … I’ve inherited a bunch of really nice fly rods(& reels); so news of your new property may give us a chance to do some fishing together. Lets keep on trying ‘til we get all going on … you dig? That’s enough for now, I know you grow weary of this sort of rant.

As I leave, I must say … “more Oxycontine for Rush!”

sincerely,
poochie dread